Mountainview Medical, the surgical center in Las Cruces, NM., informed me politely that I was not welcome as a patient for my inability to wear a mask. Once my failure to wear a mask was resolved, I was welcome to return, but I was not welcome until then. This was made pretty clear to me today (27 September 2021). Regardless of a wet signature signed letter from my VA-provided primary care provider, I cannot wear a mask, irrespective of the fact that the VA had arranged this appointment and was paying the bill. I was persona non grata.
One would think that having accepted a contract, the accepter would do everything to fulfill the contract. Yet, apparently, a mask is sufficient legal cause to forfeit a contract. Does anyone else find this strange and odd? Would a lawyer please step forward and explain contract law to me. When I have accepted a contract, my job has been to fulfill that contract to the best of my abilities or be found in breach and liable for the damages to the contract issuer.
Changing topics. I was taught, look people in the eye when speaking to them. Be honest, forthright, and confident enough as a person to render respect. I have studied people and psychology for a long time. I am lost on this topic and if you have insight, please feel free to add your comments below. Why do women feel the need to either become hostile or play with their clothes, hair, or refuse eye contact when talking to me? I am not horrendous to look upon; I am certainly not good-looking either. I am not flirting; I interact with other people for professional reasons; yet, I cannot get people to look me in the eye and have professional conversations.
What has happened to eye contact in American society? What has happened to confidence in communicating? Look, I get it; right now, the media has everyone scared to shake hands. I was raised providing a firm handshake, looking people in the eye, and socially interacting is the highest skill you can learn to succeed. I was having this conversation randomly the other day, and the other person was scapegoating millennials. I feel this is 100% unfair as the problem is multi-generational and crosses all industries and situations. Consider the following, and let’s have this conversation.
Changing topics. What is more acceptable to you; all talk and no action, or all action and no talk? In reviewing some transcripts of a ZOOM meeting where President Biden was in attendance with many Democratic National Committee (DNC) leaders and party flunkies, the president made remarks to the effect that since he was the only one speaking to a point, the DNC should be grateful. One of the reasons I have been hesitant to expand the blog is that I prefer to be a person of action. Yet, with my disabilities, I find taking action less and less the course I can physically handle. Thus, I must find new outlets, and training others is a course of action I am good at. Thus, the blog was born; but not taken without reservations.
Now, America finds itself at the mercy of a person who considers himself a person of words and thinks others should be grateful to have his words on a particular subject. In psychology, this method of thinking is generally classified as narcissistic. A narcissist is a person full of pride and egoism, which shows extreme love for themselves and only for themself. I cannot think of a better adjective to describe Joe Biden. Thus, I wonder about the question posed, do you prefer a person of many words and little action, or do you prefer someone of few words and plenty of action?
Strip politics, identity, sex, gender, and all other adjectives and names from this comparison. Simply make a distinction between words and no action and lots of action and few words. Then lay that preference out on the world and make choices based upon that preference. As a person of action, I prefer other people of action. I like people of action for actions can always be guided and shifted; words mean everything is stuck awaiting action. If you prefer words to action, please let me know in the comments section why and explain to me how words are better than action. I am genuinely interested in and appreciate logic and reason.
Changing topics. Last week my cousin succumbed to his injuries and passed this mortal coil. I learned something that made me furious, and frankly, I am still not my “cherub-like self.” I had always thought my cousins escaped the chains of abuse. My uncle and aunt on my father’s side are just so tender-hearted and innocent; I thought their kids would escape the evils of abuse so prevalent on my side of the family circle. Unfortunately, the clutches of sexual abuse tormented their family, and my cousin did not ever receive the training needed to overcome the abuse and was a victim his entire life.
I learned from an early age how to fight. I was raised to be the last bastard standing in a room full of bastards. I learned how to win, fight dirty, and be it fists, words, ideas, or weapons, I was going to be the victor. I grew the antibodies against abuse by being abused. I do not like admitting this, but it is the truth, plain and simple. My cousin never got this training, I never knew he needed this training, and his family has suffered incredibly from a guidance counselor in the school district who abused my cousin in the second grade.
To the abused; I am sorry! You are now faced with a choice, do you give the person who abused, or is still abusing you, power over the rest of your life, or do you choose to fight and win back your life, dignity, and potential? That is the only choice you make, and you will make this choice every day for the rest of your life. How you choose dictates your destiny; do you have gravel in your guts sufficient to take back what was stolen from you or not? You have friends, associates, and support, but at the end of the day, in the wee hours of the morning, you, and only you, have the power to defeat your abuser, and you must wield the sword to defeat the abuser!
To the abusers; I detest you! With all the power I possess, I will actively work against you to defeat you! There is nowhere you can run, nowhere you can hide, and nothing you can do to evade and escape. I am not justice; I am simply a man who will not allow you the power to continue to abuse. I know many like me who are just as committed to seeing you stand in front of a judge and be punished for your crimes, and we will continue to work for this day to our dying breath!
I have met too many abused and broken people who do not understand the simplicity of conquering abuse. The action is simple, choose to stop allowing yourself to be abused. The reality and activities to support that choice are hard, painful, and the struggle is real physically, mentally, emotionally, and on every level possible. But, I promise you, freedom from abuse is possible! Make the choice to stop allowing yourself to be abused! Need a friend, contact me; need help, reach out. There are plenty of people locally and more virtually who understand and are happy to help. Just allow us to be there for you!
The accepted praxis in society is to not talk about abuse and abuse recovery as this is a topic for “someone else” to discuss. Well, that myth ends today! Abuse is happening too often to continue to ignore, sidestep, or push it under the table. Abuse is not just a topic for annual teacher training classes, nurses, and doctors. Abuse does not just happen to low-income families, bad people, or those who “deserve it.” Abuse comes in many different types and styles, forms, and methodologies. The single unifying factor in abuse is a single person who is gaining power over another person through manipulation and dominion.
Sexual abuse is about power and dominion, as well as sexual gratification. Sexual abuse is NEVER about love, and I do not care if it is male-on-male, male-on-female, or female-on-female; it is always about power, not love! Physical abuse is always about dominion and power over another person; they are always selected for their weakness. The abused person is constantly victimized until they cannot live without the abuse, or so they are trained. Verbal abuse is all about power and dominion, feeding the ego of the abuser on the weakness of those abused. When directed at another for personal gain, apathy is abuse and needs to be corrected before additional harm and further abuse are committed.
Pornography and masturbation are self-abuse. Drug abuse is self-abuse, alcohol abuse is self-abuse, and these abuses lead to physical, sexual, verbal, and other types of abuse. Abuse of self leads to abuse of others. Abuse of others causes society to detest and denigrate you, exasperating self-abuse and addictive behaviors, which further exasperate drug and alcohol abuse and abuse of others. Vicious cycle indeed!
Agree or disagree, leave a comment and let’s have the conversations that need to be discussed. Let’s openly discuss root causes and look to create solutions that can generate positive outcomes. Better, let’s open our hearts and hands to lift and support. There has undoubtedly been sufficient abuse, torment, anger, and hatred in this world. We need to find different solutions!
© 2021 M. Dave Salisbury
All Rights Reserved
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