Let’s Talk – Thoughts on Several Issues

GavelMountainview Medical, the surgical center in Las Cruces, NM., informed me politely that I was not welcome as a patient for my inability to wear a mask.  Once my failure to wear a mask was resolved, I was welcome to return, but I was not welcome until then.  This was made pretty clear to me today (27 September 2021).  Regardless of a wet signature signed letter from my VA-provided primary care provider, I cannot wear a mask, irrespective of the fact that the VA had arranged this appointment and was paying the bill.  I was persona non grata.

One would think that having accepted a contract, the accepter would do everything to fulfill the contract.  Yet, apparently, a mask is sufficient legal cause to forfeit a contract.  Does anyone else find this strange and odd?  Would a lawyer please step forward and explain contract law to me.  When I have accepted a contract, my job has been to fulfill that contract to the best of my abilities or be found in breach and liable for the damages to the contract issuer.Apathy

Changing topics.  I was taught, look people in the eye when speaking to them.  Be honest, forthright, and confident enough as a person to render respect.  I have studied people and psychology for a long time.  I am lost on this topic and if you have insight, please feel free to add your comments below.  Why do women feel the need to either become hostile or play with their clothes, hair, or refuse eye contact when talking to me?  I am not horrendous to look upon; I am certainly not good-looking either.  I am not flirting; I interact with other people for professional reasons; yet, I cannot get people to look me in the eye and have professional conversations.

What has happened to eye contact in American society?  What has happened to confidence in communicating?  Look, I get it; right now, the media has everyone scared to shake hands.  I was raised providing a firm handshake, looking people in the eye, and socially interacting is the highest skill you can learn to succeed.  I was having this conversation randomly the other day, and the other person was scapegoating millennials.  I feel this is 100% unfair as the problem is multi-generational and crosses all industries and situations.  Consider the following, and let’s have this conversation.Einstein

Changing topics.  What is more acceptable to you; all talk and no action, or all action and no talk?  In reviewing some transcripts of a ZOOM meeting where President Biden was in attendance with many Democratic National Committee (DNC) leaders and party flunkies, the president made remarks to the effect that since he was the only one speaking to a point, the DNC should be grateful.  One of the reasons I have been hesitant to expand the blog is that I prefer to be a person of action.  Yet, with my disabilities, I find taking action less and less the course I can physically handle.  Thus, I must find new outlets, and training others is a course of action I am good at.  Thus, the blog was born; but not taken without reservations.

QuestionNow, America finds itself at the mercy of a person who considers himself a person of words and thinks others should be grateful to have his words on a particular subject.  In psychology, this method of thinking is generally classified as narcissistic.  A narcissist is a person full of pride and egoism, which shows extreme love for themselves and only for themself.  I cannot think of a better adjective to describe Joe Biden.  Thus, I wonder about the question posed, do you prefer a person of many words and little action, or do you prefer someone of few words and plenty of action?

Strip politics, identity, sex, gender, and all other adjectives and names from this comparison.  Simply make a distinction between words and no action and lots of action and few words.  Then lay that preference out on the world and make choices based upon that preference.  As a person of action, I prefer other people of action.  I like people of action for actions can always be guided and shifted; words mean everything is stuck awaiting action.  If you prefer words to action, please let me know in the comments section why and explain to me how words are better than action.  I am genuinely interested in and appreciate logic and reason.kpi

Changing topics.  Last week my cousin succumbed to his injuries and passed this mortal coil.  I learned something that made me furious, and frankly, I am still not my “cherub-like self.”  I had always thought my cousins escaped the chains of abuse.  My uncle and aunt on my father’s side are just so tender-hearted and innocent; I thought their kids would escape the evils of abuse so prevalent on my side of the family circle.  Unfortunately, the clutches of sexual abuse tormented their family, and my cousin did not ever receive the training needed to overcome the abuse and was a victim his entire life.

I learned from an early age how to fight.  I was raised to be the last bastard standing in a room full of bastards.  I learned how to win, fight dirty, and be it fists, words, ideas, or weapons, I was going to be the victor.  I grew the antibodies against abuse by being abused.  I do not like admitting this, but it is the truth, plain and simple.  My cousin never got this training, I never knew he needed this training, and his family has suffered incredibly from a guidance counselor in the school district who abused my cousin in the second grade.Grit - Defined

To the abused; I am sorry!  You are now faced with a choice, do you give the person who abused, or is still abusing you, power over the rest of your life, or do you choose to fight and win back your life, dignity, and potential?  That is the only choice you make, and you will make this choice every day for the rest of your life.  How you choose dictates your destiny; do you have gravel in your guts sufficient to take back what was stolen from you or not?  You have friends, associates, and support, but at the end of the day, in the wee hours of the morning, you, and only you, have the power to defeat your abuser, and you must wield the sword to defeat the abuser!Angry Wet Chicken

To the abusers; I detest you!  With all the power I possess, I will actively work against you to defeat you!  There is nowhere you can run, nowhere you can hide, and nothing you can do to evade and escape.  I am not justice; I am simply a man who will not allow you the power to continue to abuse.  I know many like me who are just as committed to seeing you stand in front of a judge and be punished for your crimes, and we will continue to work for this day to our dying breath!

I have met too many abused and broken people who do not understand the simplicity of conquering abuse.  The action is simple, choose to stop allowing yourself to be abused.  The reality and activities to support that choice are hard, painful, and the struggle is real physically, mentally, emotionally, and on every level possible.  But, I promise you, freedom from abuse is possible!  Make the choice to stop allowing yourself to be abused!  Need a friend, contact me; need help, reach out.  There are plenty of people locally and more virtually who understand and are happy to help.  Just allow us to be there for you!Angry Grizzly Bear

The accepted praxis in society is to not talk about abuse and abuse recovery as this is a topic for “someone else” to discuss.  Well, that myth ends today!  Abuse is happening too often to continue to ignore, sidestep, or push it under the table.  Abuse is not just a topic for annual teacher training classes, nurses, and doctors.  Abuse does not just happen to low-income families, bad people, or those who “deserve it.”  Abuse comes in many different types and styles, forms, and methodologies.  The single unifying factor in abuse is a single person who is gaining power over another person through manipulation and dominion.

Sexual abuse is about power and dominion, as well as sexual gratification.  Sexual abuse is NEVER about love, and I do not care if it is male-on-male, male-on-female, or female-on-female; it is always about power, not love!  Physical abuse is always about dominion and power over another person; they are always selected for their weakness.  The abused person is constantly victimized until they cannot live without the abuse, or so they are trained.  Verbal abuse is all about power and dominion, feeding the ego of the abuser on the weakness of those abused.  When directed at another for personal gain, apathy is abuse and needs to be corrected before additional harm and further abuse are committed.

Pornography and masturbation are self-abuse.  Drug abuse is self-abuse, alcohol abuse is self-abuse, and these abuses lead to physical, sexual, verbal, and other types of abuse.  Abuse of self leads to abuse of others.  Abuse of others causes society to detest and denigrate you, exasperating self-abuse and addictive behaviors, which further exasperate drug and alcohol abuse and abuse of others.  Vicious cycle indeed!

Knowledge Check!Agree or disagree, leave a comment and let’s have the conversations that need to be discussed.  Let’s openly discuss root causes and look to create solutions that can generate positive outcomes.  Better, let’s open our hearts and hands to lift and support.  There has undoubtedly been sufficient abuse, torment, anger, and hatred in this world.  We need to find different solutions!

© 2021 M. Dave Salisbury
All Rights Reserved
The images used herein were obtained in the public domain; this author holds no copyright to the images displayed.

Contentious Voices – Exerting Control

QuestionA colleague of mine mentioned something in passing that has me thinking about the contentious voices surrounding our lives.  Consider with me for a moment; when the last time you heard just the news was?  No commentary, no hidden bias, no reporting for emotional reaction, simply a description of the events of the day, news?  I cannot remember when I last heard a news report.  It seems that to get the local news, I have to question the motives on the stories, compare news broadcasts for opinions and biases, tune into three or four different radio stations and compare them to the TV, and those to the newspapers, and even then, 90% of what is reported still has to be discounted.

My colleague mentioned that the efforts of contentious voices are to exert emotional control over the audience, for if the audience is emotionally controlled, they are physically controlled.  If they are physically controlled, they can be bent, shaped, and molded into weapons of self-destruction for the entertainment of those controlling the contentious voices.  This insight has me thinking—self-destruction through contentious voices exerting control, all through unbridled emotional understanding.

Exclamation MarkWhen emotional intelligence was first coming out, feel free to read the early papers and books on this topic if you doubt what I am reporting.  Emotional intelligence was declared as the ability to read the emotions in a room and then control the people through their emotions.  For which I have adamantly opposed emotional intelligence as a concept since inception.  I have always felt that trying to control others through their emotions is wrong, in poor taste, and can easily backfire when those being controlled wake up and realize what has been happening to them.  Yet, emotional intelligence has grown as a concept, has broadened in scope, and no one is asking why anymore.  Well, I am, and so are a few others, but the media is working hard to keep us silenced and sidelined as “aluminum hat-wearing non-conformists.”

Yet, contentious voices continue to prey upon people’s emotions nightly and call this “learned commentary,” “democracy dying in darkness,” “in-depth reporting,” and “fair and balanced news,” among many other things.  Republicans against Democrats, Liberals against conservatives, eco-Nazis from both extremes of the planet is going to hell debate, and the list of contentious voices is long and formidable.  Yet, they all have the same playbook, use emotional hooks, sink the emotional hook deeply, and keep pulling that emotional hook every time a person tries to think for themselves.

Dont Tread On MeWell, I would see you escape the hook, wake up mentally, and arise as a powerful individual.  Capable of independent thought and able to reason and think using your own instinct, talents, skills, and innate reasoning.  I am not making a plea to your emotions, and if you ever think I am playing to your emotions, feel free to call me out!  I am not here to enslave your mind, but to free your soul and empower your spirit, to support your goodness, and justify you being the free-thinking person you already are!

Thus, the following reminders regarding emotions.  These are not my thoughts; they originate from Robert Solomon’s incredible book “Not Passion’s Slave: Emotions and Choice,” which you can purchase from any reputable bookseller for a minimal fee or find in a local library.  If you are close to New Mexico, send me an email to lend you my copy.Not Passion's Slave - Emotions and Choice

  • Solomon begins his book with a quote from Jean-Paul Sartre:
    • For the idea which I have never ceased to develop is that in the end, one is always responsible for what is made of one. Even if one can do nothing else besides assume this responsibility.  For I believe that a man can always make something out of what is made of him.  This is the limit I would today accord to freedom: the small movement which makes of a totally conditioned social being someone who does not render back completely what his conditions has given him.”
  • Emotions involve social narratives as well as physical responses, and an analysis of emotions is an account of our way of being-in-the-world.”
    • Emotions are not occurrences and do not happen to us.
      • Emotions are rational and purposive rather than irrational and disruptive, are very much like actions, and that we choose an emotion much as we choose a course of action.”
    • Emotions are intentional: that is, emotions are “about” something.
      • All emotions are ultimately “about” the world and never simply “about” something particular.
      • Feelings do not have “directions.” The relationship between my being angry and what I am angry about is not contingent between a feeling and an object.
    • Emotions change with our opinions, and so are “rational” in a very important sense.
      • But the rationality of the emotion is time-sensitive, socially sensitive, and environmentally contingent. Unless our societal makeup allows this emotional crossover, emotions cannot often cross between social situations, peer groups, and environments.
      • The cause of an emotion is a function in a certain kind of explanation.
        • Contentious voices know this as a truth and use their contention to drive the emotional functionality of the arguments to spur emotional growth to your detriment!
      • The line between emotions and beliefs is often negligible and non-existent.
        • Another truth contentious voices use to spur emotional hooking in the audience to the audience’s detriment and destruction.
      • Emotions are a normative judgment.
        • We decide the correctness of emoting, based upon the social, environmental, and peer aspects at the time the information is provided.
        • Emotions are cognitive judgments of socially wired animals (humans) who use the lightning reflexes of the brain to make these judgments for personal benefits in a social situation, advancing peer associations, or to survive in a specific environment.
        • Emotions change with our knowledge of the causes of those emotions.

Bobblehead DollOn this last point, consider Joe Biden and his words to different audiences on the campaign trail.  To one audience, he pledged to put oil company officers in jail for unspecified environmental crimes.  To another audience, he promised not to kill coal.  Both declarations were later denounced as verbal gaffes, miss spoken words taken out of a larger context, and phrases that did not mean anything on the campaign trail.  Yet, the words fit the emotion being witnessed, and the crowd forming the environment and peer group being addressed.  All politicians do this, and it is referred to as “politicking” or “playing to the audience’s emotions.”

Finally, consider something with me, a thought, those controlling the contentious voices believe you, the audience, their slaves, for they can control your emotions, like 2-year-olds control play-dough.  Are you a slave?  Will you master your emotional judgments to protect yourself and your family?  The choice is yours, and yours alone to make.  All I can do is offer information and ask for your consideration.  But I will make a promise; if you refuse to master your emotions, you will be destroyed by the contentious voices clamoring for your attention.  These breeders of contention will pull you apart emotionally, creating depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and other self-destruction options.

Image - Eagle & FlagThose terrorists rioting over the spring and summer of 2020 were pawns and self-destructive actors to the contentious voices.  We are all living in a time where social influencers play the most extensive role in the lives of people than ever before, and they can play this role because we have unbridled our emotions and refuse to believe that emotions are a choice, a judgment, and a tool for social integration.  While the masses are not taught these things, those controlling the contentious voices know these truths, but they also practice hiding this information to destroy the groups they enslave.  Please, free yourself from bondage, take control of your emotions, and never allow anyone to control them ever again!

© 2021 M. Dave Salisbury
All Rights Reserved
The images used herein were obtained in the public domain; this author holds no copyright to the images displayed.

NO MORE: Come, Let Us Reason Together, Chapter 6 – Pride

Male v. FemaleHetro- or Homo- sexual, I do not care.  If you and your partner are over the age of consent, generally accepted as 18 years, you may do as you like.  All I ask is that you keep your bedroom theatrics in the privacy of your own home.

I realize family dynamics have changed; we have single parents, nuclear families (a female and a male parent), we have dual sex parents (two females or two males), and a host of imaginative genders, as well as polymorphous parenting.  In each of these parenting relationships comes the risk for divorce, death of one or both parents, long and short-term disease, extended family, and abuse of all types and sizes.  No single parenting relationship is immune, especially to death and disease.

Nuclear FamilyWe can find the same family organizations, the same risks, and the same problems with abuse throughout history.  Nothing in the modern family is new or unique.  Greece, Rome, Egypt, Babylon, Israel, all communities of ancient date report the same problems in family dynamics, mainly to the detriment of the society practicing any family relationship except nuclear families.  I am not the morality police, I am not the thought police, and I am not going to tell you how to live your life and handle your consequences.  Heck, I have enough trouble just keeping my consequences dealt with; you may do as you see fit.

June has been taken over by “Pride” month, and the entire month set apart for the expression of sexual freedom and taking sexual freedom to parade bedroom lifestyles in public.  Frankly, as long as your partner is over the age of consent, you may act as you want; please keep your lifestyle in your bedroom and out of the public square.  However, “Pride” month refutes this plea, demands attention, and refuses to allow the privacy of choices to remain private.  Herein lay the problem.  Imagine a heterosexual “Pride” parade; would it even be allowed; I have my doubts.  Celebrations honoring the role of the nuclear family in society would be and have been attacked by the same people preaching Pride, unity, fairness, and demanding their rights to act foolishly in public.Plato 2

Here is the problem, opportunistic people have made and continue to make a lot of money detailing their lifestyles and bedroom practices.  I do not mind, provided the adult restrictions remain in place on adult topics.  But, when specifically peddled to children, in schools paid for through forced taxation, the schools should not be grooming children and providing materials that are more specifically adult related topics.  K-12 education has sexualized the children of the world so much that it is being reported that first-graders are being taught how “good it feels to touch themselves.”  Essentially, children barely able to walk, talk, and sit still, are being taught masturbation.  Their organs have not developed, their understanding remains cloudy, and they are being groomed for sexual perverts and abuse.  Either from themselves, family, or strangers.  We should weep for the lost innocence of the children!

Want the true horror story; long-term studies on sexualized children support the facts that many of these toddlers will commit suicide, attempt suicide, or fall into destructive relationships and cycles of abuse.  All because from their earliest memory, their lives have revolved around some mystical belief regarding sex being the answer to all of life’s problems.  When the reality of sexual accountability, responsibility, and the dangers and damage sex can bring to a body, it will be too late.

Virtuous Woman 3Childhood depression is up, anxiety, PTSD related to sexual encounters and personal abuse is up, drug use is out of control, and the root causes are the disconnect between reality and personal belief that sex comes without cost or consequence.  Entire smut markets have become open to the youngest of children selling sex and sexual lifestyles, and many times the child is not ready for these consequences.  Tom Sawyer is banned reading material, but 50-Shades of Gray is not; consider what else is in the child’s library at school.  As a substitute, I was appalled when a box of suggested reading materials was delivered to the classroom, where 99% of the books were about homosexual relationships, coping with homosexual feelings, and discovering homosexual lifestyles.

WhyTo fully understand the sexualization of children, one must first cut through the hype.  The Centers for Disease Control (CDC), which is another topic entirely, was cheering the drop in statistics of live births of children to mothers in the 10-14-year-old age range from 8,500 in 2000 to 2,200 in 2016.  Would someone please tell me why the CDC counts live birth statistics in the 10-18-year-old range as if a pregnancy was a disease akin to chickenpox, malaria, Ebola, while the Health and Human Services (HHS) report pregnancies for adults?  Next, why aren’t pregnancies, including abortions, in 10-14-year-olds considered what they are, a tragedy of epic proportion?  A ten-year-old girl should not be having sex as her body is not ready for the burdens of pregnancy, her mind is not prepared for the hormone dump, and she runs a considerable risk of just having sex, let alone getting pregnant.

Question 3I have reports from family court proceedings where young girls are pressured into having sex and getting pregnant as early as possible to increase welfare funding—taking a moral issue and making it a legal matter and a social problem.  Where is the criminal justice system in holding the parent/s responsible for pressuring children to become grown-ups?  Why is the education system, paid for through forced taxation, allowed to groom children for sex but cannot be held accountable for failing to teach reading, writing, and arithmetic?

I am not a girl, obviously, but all through junior high and high school.  I watched my friends who were girls suffer over when to have sex, how to have sex, and the resulting depression, anxiety, pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and other consequences of active sex lives.  More than one girl suffered abusive relationships or sexual partners who left physical wounds, emotional and mental wounds behind after sexual captivity.  I had acquaintances with guys who suffered from fathering a child, but the mother went and had an abortion.  The psychological and physical pain of being excluded from this decision destroyed the fathers.  Yet, the father’s rights are never part of the equation in making these decisions, even though it took two to create the pregnancy.Modesty

High school, Camden, Maine, Senior Year; I became good friends with a bi-sexual couple.  Together they were lesbians, but their relationship allowed sleep-overs with guys.  One member of this couple discussed how she became a lesbian and the physical pain she endured to become “comfortable being sexually active in a lesbian relationship.”  In fact, the horror stories she related are not anything new in the homosexual community, as I discovered over the years in counseling people both inside and outside the military.  The grooming of young boys for adult men is even more tragic and heartbreaking!  Yet, the LGBTQ+ communities refuse to discuss these experiences, the consequences, and the lasting mental and emotional scars, especially during June’s Pride celebrations.

Knowledge Check!What is worse, none of the literature discussing physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual injuries is not allowed in public schools. It would disturb the mythical instruction and grooming of innocent children about the realities of having sex too early or the problems with homosexual sexual relations.  Parents, celebrate June Pride month if you want, but please watch your children and teenagers.  Please, for the love of your children, help them to make intelligent and informed decisions.  Better still, remove them from the perverts in K-12, so your child has a chance to learn how to read, write, and think logically through mathematical equations before it is too late.

© 2021 M. Dave Salisbury
All Rights Reserved
The images used herein were obtained in the public domain; this author holds no copyright to the images displayed.