Asininity, Stupidity, and Ridiculousness – Hell from Human Resources

As a human resources professional, I know the ineptitude and despicableness from both sides of the HR desk.  It is time to think, way outside the box, and all I ask is for your consideration of the proposed idea.  I know I am not alone in desiring a better path forward; here is a suggestion.

For my entire career, military and civilian, I have stood for what is right, fair, and equitable.  I hate bullies and detest bureaucrats creating problems to protect their power and ego, especially at the expense of others.  Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, gets my blood boiling faster than to experience “This is the way we do things here” thinking!  Today, I will expose some worms to sunshine and see if we might fry them from the soils of productivity and free the captives.

Two weeks ago, I applied for an internal job posting advertised since April 2020.  Not only am I highly skilled, well qualified, and possess the academic and experiential knowledge for the role, I also have performed this role multiple times.  My supervisor’s boss told me, “Nothing stops you from applying.”  This is the subtle way of saying that you will not be considered for this role because you were hired at a lower pay grade; you are not “humbled enough.”  Today, I was told more information, “You have to pay your dues at this company before we consider you promotable.”

What does “promotable” mean; it is the personal opinion of my supervisor and his boss who have to give their blessing on my knowledge, skills, and abilities.  Essentially I need a gold star in my copybook before they will look favorably upon my promotion.  Please note, I am not trying to weasel a different position; simply be considered honestly for a position I can compete with anyone for and compete well.  Want a kicker?  There are two ways to be considered for promotion:  1. Leave the company and “boomerang” back.  2.  Win approval from your leaders for that gold star and blessing, then compete against external and internal candidates for the position.

Consider this for a moment; enough people have felt punished by HR, their bosses, and the intransigent stupidity in the promotion process and stuck in their roles that they have intentionally left the company, then applied for the job they are qualified for, and won that position.  The company calls these people “boomerangs.”  They treat them as second-class citizens, and promotions are even more challenging for a “boomerang” than they originally left.

Upon higher into my current role, I was told several stories of people who did incredible tasks for the company and were refused promotions they deserved because the leaders never set up a promotion path with HR.  Why did these leaders refuse to set up a promotion growth path; because my department was being right-sized for a technological solution until it was discovered that technology could not replace the people.  Now, everyone is stuck; they cannot promote or afford to quit and return, and the political situation is unbearably ridiculous!

When I write about leadership failures, I write from deep experience in fighting stupidity, asininity, and ridiculousness in human resources.  There is no excuse for a leader to pacify down and plead up to look better for the next promotion.  Yet, today I was told, “you have to pay your dues; working here is ‘humbling.’”  So is joining the military and having Congress halt all promotions in your field because they feel it is a “good path for the military.”  It was stupid then, and it is still stupid now!

Hell from human resources includes some new verbiage gaining traction from the politicians, and frankly, this is a conversation begging to be had.  What are the employees in your organization, valuable, worthwhile, lazy, useless, human infrastructure, or individuals?  Choose your adjective, and I can tell you what type of leader you are.  Worse, I can forecast just how bad your business will treat everyone and how fast your company will die horribly!

A customer of mine told me I was crazy and full of “baked beans.”  They are bankrupt now, their employees all left with a horrible taste in their mouth for authoritarianism, tyranny, and oppression in their employer.  The red tape bureaucracy in human resources was such that to “avoid risk” in human resources (HR), the lawyers convinced the owners to design HR in such a way as to micro-manage to the Nth degree.  Too many HR departments are making the most egregious mistake in treating independent thinking adults like pre-schoolers in pre-K classes.

Unfortunately, the IRS supports the HR departments acting in this manner, and Congress continues to fund and increase the budget of the IRS to exasperate this situation further.  The powers of the IRS have been a recurring topic, and additional insight from those articles can be found in the links provided.

Would you like a solution to the fifth ring of Dante HR insanity?  FIRE Human Resource professionals.  HR is comparable to the man who discovers solutions to problems he creates after demanding everyone adopt the solution.  The fundamental treatise upon which HR justifies their existence is flawed and presume that humans need controlled.  However, if the IRS got out of dictating how to treat employees in the employer/employee relationship, HR would not be required!

Consider the veracity of returning HR to Dante’s fifth ring; every business already possesses human capital, structural capital, and relationship capital as part of its intellectual capital.  Intellectual capital makes your business different from your competition and is central to the knowledge management process.  Please note, HR did not build this for your company; like the government, HR has never been more than a “necessary evil” at best.  Creating processes and procedures that protect officiousness while punishing productivity and talented people.

How much does an open position cost an organization?  The honest and straightforward answer, nobody can quantify this number due to a mixture of variables.  The closest one can get to an estimate is between 3 times and 15 times the annual salary of the open position.  Why is this so difficult to quantify; here are some of the variables in the equation.  Please note that the human potential element, or the individual’s talents occupying the position, can never be quantified.

        • Annual Salary
        • Training
        • Salaries for those doing the job while the position is open
        • Loss of production from the position available and those covering the open role responsibilities
        • Organizational memory loss from the person leaving
        • Onboarding costs (advertising, interviewing, hiring)

Imperative to removing the minions from Dante’s Fifth Ring (HR), the organizational dimension’s seven S’s must be understood.  Leaders must constantly balance strategy, structure, systems, staff, skills, style, and superordinate goals.  When HR is involved, balancing staff, skills, and style is crushed under the bureaucracy and inefficient thinking of bureaucrats who must have a process for everything.  Thus forming the disconnect between humans endeavoring towards an organizational goal (business) and achieving success.

Case in point, let us return to the open positions, the job market where millions of available jobs are stagnating, and people are not going back to work.  The model has failed, and the culprits are HR and the coequally corrupt government institutions on the local, county, state, and federal levels.  Thus, anyone with eyes can see that strategy, structure, and systems have been intentionally destroyed in businesses large and small by those charged with helping understand and support staff, skills, and styles while working to achieve superordinate goals.

Businesses are out of balance; the government built that!  Human resources helped.  America needs to reverse course, and it begins with freeing the employee from the employer/employee relationship.  While some will claim this answer is too simple, how many honestly remember what America was like before the Federal Government mandated how employers could compete for talent?  It is time to discover how small a government can shrink, and while shrinking, take HR with them!

© Copyright 2021 – M. Dave Salisbury
The author holds no claims for the art used herein, the pictures were obtained in the public domain, and the intellectual property belongs to those who created the images.  Quoted materials remain the property of the original author.

Teaching the President Responsibility – I Never Thought I Would See the Day!

Angry Wet ChickenPresident Biden, you, and your administration disgust me!  I did not vote for you, but I was willing to support you as president back in January and show you respect.  Even though I continue to have reservations regarding the veracity of the 2020 Elections, the transparency of the election counts, and the skullduggery witnessed, I was willing to give you a chance.  Your actions in Afghanistan have sundered my cherub-like demeanor and turned the extended olive branch into a torch for your pyre!

Let me be perfectly clear, the blood of every soldier, sailor, airman, Marine, who has served, is serving, or will serve in Afghanistan is on your hands for your ineffective and wholly useless policy in that country!  Worse, the tears and blood of children being abused, murdered, raped, and assaulted are also on your hands.  You allowed a mostly peaceful situation to become an open and festering warzone, again, and it is all your fault!  You cannot blame Congress, you cannot hide behind the media, you cannot shirk accountability behind generals and pentagon officials, you are the Commander in Chief, and it is your sole responsibility to lead the armed forces of these United States.

Sure, we in the service swear an oath to the U.S. Constitution and the officers appointed over us, but the first officer we pledge obedience to is the U.S. President.  You, sir, need to learn responsibility for the men and women you lead.  I plan to teach you and every American who is privileged to read this article the power of the office and the responsibility of the office you hold.  How will I instruct you; through the U.S. Presidents who came before you!Angry Grizzly Bear

The power of Commander in Chief is derived from the U.S. Constitution:

Article II Section 2 of the U.S. Constitution, the Commander in Chief clause, states that “[t]he President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States when called into the actual Service of the United States.”

Mr. President, you need to take two lessons from President General George Washington.

      1. But lest some unlucky event should happen unfavorable to my reputation, I beg every gentleman may remember it in the room that I this day declare with the utmost sincerity, I do not think myself equal to the command I am honored with.”
      2. In politics as in philosophy, my tenets are few and simple. The leading one of which, and indeed that which embraces most others, is, to be honest, and just ourselves and to exact it from others, meddling as little as possible in their affairs where our own are not involved. If this maxim were generally adopted, wars would cease, and our swords would soon be converted into reap hooks, and our harvests be more peaceful, abundant, and happy.”

Do you understand these two fundamental principles of being the Commander in Chief?  Humility is not a weakness but an inner strength to know and do what is right in exercising your command.  You were given the greatest honor possible, to lead men, and women, into battle, and you have pissed that honor away for trinkets not worth a mess of pottage!Plato 2

The second principle of being the Commander in Chief is demanding honesty, first from yourself, then from others.  Is the job too big for you? It’s no shame to admit you are in over your head.  It is no shame to realize you need help.  It is a crime to act like you have the brains and talent, lying to yourself, while the world burns like Rome and Nero fiddles!  Your counselors, administration, and vice president are all crooks, scoundrels, and fools, but you have the responsibility!  This is why honesty is so desperately needed and fundamentally critical.

President Jefferson provides the following principle for the Commander in Chief, and while President General George Washington embodied this principle, President Jefferson said it best:

If we are to guard against ignorance and remain free, it is the responsibility of every American to be informed.”

Knowledge Check!Are you informed about the consequences of your decisions?  If so, why are you continuing to adhere to wrongheaded decisions that are destroying America, ruining Afghanistan, and allowing China to threaten her neighbors, bully her neighbors, and be the aggressor party in a prelude to war?  Do you not understand that your responsibility for the consequences of your decisions is eternal, and you owe the God of this land, even Jesus Christ, accounting for how you have led during your time in office?  The blood of innocent people is on your hands because you and your advisors have refused to listen, refused to act, and chosen the worst possible action when working to the detriment of everyone on this planet.  You are actively failing as a president; does this not matter to you?

Inherent in the law is the following axiom:

Ignorance of the law is not an excuse for breaking the law.”

You need to understand this principle, for failure to be learned is not an excuse, ignorance of the law is not an excuse, and ignorance of the consequences is not an excuse.  You cannot blame your staff when standing before a judge and jury, nor can you evade responsibility and accountability. Honestly, the responsibility ultimately stops at your desk, the music ends, and you are left holding the bag full of whatever crap landed on your desk.The Duty of Americans

President Jefferson also provides the following axiom for a Commander in Chief, one which you have avoided your entire life, and it is time you were made to should this burden as an adult!

A nation, as a society, forms a moral person, and every member of it is personally responsible for his society.”

What does this mean; allow me to explain using your example.  Your first, Second, and Third attempts at running for president were fraught with verbal gaffes where outright lies, bald-faced untruths, and plagiarized speech were put forth for the public as your ideas and ideals.  Thus making you a liar, a thief, and the worst sort of scoundrel possible, yet, through gerrymandering and a lot of money and your Jello-like spine, you have managed to stay in office long past your maximum level of incompetence.  What sort of moral society have you been promoting and living in?  Do you realize you are responsible for that moral decay you have been broadcasting from your senate office?  Do you know that your morals are now being stamped upon the military, and the military is going to find that your morals do not fit the honor, courage, and commitment needed to fulfill the mission?  The Uniform Code of Military Justice, which you now fall under as Commander in Chief, would find you guilty and in need of severe punishment.  How can a soldier, airmen, Marine, sailor, etc., go before the mast for UCMJ punishment with you as Commander in Chief and be found guilty of morals you exemplify daily?  By the way, this is the same problem your buddy Obama suffered from for eight damnable years when he occupied your chair!Patriotism

Speaking of eternal consequences, and being the Commander in Chief, President Lincoln has some choice words for you to learn.

      1. In times like the present, men should utter nothing for which they would not willingly be responsible through time and eternity.”
      2. You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.”
      3. With this honor devolves upon you also a corresponding responsibility. As the country herein trusts you, so under GOD, it will sustain you, [or utterly reject you].”

Knowledge Check!As you have been weighed, measured, and found wanting, I will take a moment and explain to you what these three quotes mean for the Commander in Chief of the U.S. Armed Forces.  Firstly, watch your language.  You have not done very well with this in the past.  Your lies, half-truths, falsehoods, and plagiarized speech is beyond contempt, but the useless speeches you keep giving threatening to put legal and law-abiding citizens in prison for the sole crime of making a living is beyond detestable and shows a definitive lack of character.

Secondly, your words last for eternity.  I remember watching you as a child and thinking, “Putz!” Then cheering when the news broke that you had chucked your campaign for president.  How wonderful the Internet is for bringing back your words for your shame and discomfort, and how I enjoy watching your comments fall from your lips and condemn you for the liar and cheat you are.

Thirdly, those crimes are coming back in spades by trying to evade responsibility yesterday for being a liar and cheat, a thief, and a robber.  But, you have been placed into a position of honor for which you are not comfortable, for which you have not the strength, stamina, and mental fortitude to perform the necessary duties the role commands.  Who is making the decisions in the White House?  Why?

Dont Tread On MeFinally, we come to the absolute crux of the matter.  As Commander in Chief, the honor of commanding men and women in the military comes with a corresponding responsibility. The country loves her military and trusts you to treat them appropriately.  You did not do so in January and got a minor backlash.  You are not doing so in Afghanistan and will catch a much higher backlash as the media watches a repeat of Saigon in Kabul as the Embassy is evacuated.  Your buddy Obama has a dead Ambassador he has never answered for, which (historically) has always been a declaration of war.  What do you have?  An entire country laid to waste, the waste of millions of dollars in materials, millions of lives destroyed, and the wasted efforts of millions of people and multiple presidents.  You have betrayed the American people’s trust, and you will be held accountable, just like your good friend Mayor Lightfoot (with stickyfingers) is being held accountable in Chicago, only many, many magnitudes worse!

© 2021 M. Dave Salisbury
All Rights Reserved
The images used here were obtained in the public domain; this author holds no copyright to the images displayed.