NO MORE BS: Know the Why – NO Fear!

NO FearAs I was coming into manhood, a clothing brand began and was almost instantly popular; the brand is easily recognizable and states two words, “No Fear!”  Launched in 1989 by twin brothers Mark and Brian Simo, No Fear quickly became one of the most popular sportswear companies globally—and the most popular sportswear company staunchly against being scared.  I will not claim I have “No Fear,” but I choose to live without fear.  When fears arise, my answer is to learn all I can, mentally prepare for times when those fears will rise again, and then move forward living like those fears will not repeat, for I am mentally prepared.

USS Barry (DDG-52) - WikipediaCase in point, I was on a destroyer in the US Navy.  I had been on the ship for more than two years; I was in charge of Repair 5, the Engine Room damage control locker, and in the middle of the 0000–0400-watch, the bells and alarms go off, “Major Fuel Oil Spill in Main 1.”  Because I had practiced, I had personally trained my fire team.  I was exceedingly knowledgeable about the space, the equipment, and the watchstanders; I proceeded into an actual casualty with confidence, not fear.  More, my team could trust the training I had given them, and they moved from sleep to firefighting with confidence.  While no fire erupted that night, the casualty was quickly contained by the watchstanders.  My fire team was prepared to assist; the experience looked upon is not one of embarrassment from fear but confidence and appreciation for preparation, drills, and knowledge.

Gas Chamber 4My first time going through the CS Gas Chamber happened with my National Guard unit.  I was scared, not fearful, just frightened.  I had no confidence in the equipment, I had not been to basic training yet, and here I was going into a gas chamber.  This experience provided me with confidence that my fellow soldiers in basic training did not have as we went into the gas chamber in basic training when I experienced the gas chamber in the US Army Basic Training, Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri.  I had no fear, no trepidation, and no reason to doubt.

During Basic Training, I remember only one time being truly scared, not fearful, just scared!  I had failed to pass on the shooting ranges and was facing being kicked out of the US Army because I could not shoot what I was aiming at.  I had been shooting since I was 14, I knew how to handle rifles, but still, I could not qualify with the M-16.  The problem, I could not relax, and this inability to relax was jerking the trigger and making my rounds go astray.  Worse, I did not know why I could not relax.  Thus, arrives the point of this article, do you know the why in your emotions, decisions, and desires?

Bait & Switch 2You possess beliefs, and some might even be firmly held beliefs; this is great.  I am not writing to dissuade you from your beliefs, to decide differently, or even to emote in a manner foreign to you.  My intent is to aid you in introspection, a path of self-knowledge where you know why you know, why you believe, and why you act as you do.  Do you know why; in knowing why you begin to understand, and understanding brings knowledge and acceptance.

I have a friend who had an abusive childhood.  Her childhood was fraught with danger, all types of abuse, and this childhood prepared her to be in two abusive marriages and consider those abusive marriages as normal.  She is now remarried to a good guy, not abusive at all.  Except she has a lot of health problems, and she seeks out medical opinions for everything, seeking to find domineering in a relationship as a by-product of her childhood.  She refuses to believe that childhood events drive her doctor fixation and not health problems.  I will not attempt to dissuade her of this opinion.  I support the good she does, the good she and her husband do, and I will continue to choose to be her friend.  But fear and refusing to know why has all but crippled my friend, and this is painful to see!

Question 3Do you know why?  Are you willing to investigate to know why?  What will you choose to do when the why is revealed?  Knowing why requires mental preparation, mental preparation requires mental strength, agility, and flexibility, all skills that require practice, time, and development through experiences willingly sought.  Therein lay the most challenging part of building mental skills, being willing to seek out these opportunities, and remaining fixed upon learning, no matter the cost.

I have met some amazing people who refused to accept what the truth was going to cost them.  Learning comes with a price; that price is in the choice to apply or deny what has been taught.  The price is the consequence that follows the decision to accept or reject that which was learned.  My brother’s wife discovered he was cheating on her and had been cheating on her almost from the moment they married.  She stayed in the marriage for seven kids and nearly 20-years.  Hoping he would change.  I honor her willingness and sacrifice; I respect her devotion to my brother, I understand her position and her reasoning.  Still, I wonder, should she have left him immediately upon learning of his infidelity?  She knows the why now, but she refused to accept the why, and the consequences were painful in the extreme for many years.  She is better now, remarried, and the kids are recovering, but did they have to suffer?  Did she have to suffer?  Choice and consequence after learning is mentally difficult.

GearsAs stated and repeated only for emphasis, you may choose how you will, believe, feel, and act the way you think is best for you and yours.  My aim and intent are not to dissuade but to help you more fully appreciate the why and lose the fear.   As a teenager, a friend of mine, a shepherd, asked me to help him on the ranch.  My first day coincided with shearing day, and with 400-head of sheep to shear, this was not going to be an easy day.  Herding the sheep into the corral was not difficult and was accomplished without incident.  Getting the sheep into the run and into the trailer to be sheared was incredibly difficult, but getting the sheep out of the shearing van was easier than falling off the porch.  Why; because of fear.  The sheep wanted to be sheared, but the confinement of the run and the noise the shears produced increased fear so much that the animals could hardly think straight, and they became more fearful the closer they got to the van where the shearing stations were.  Animals confined in tight quarters in the run turned themselves about and tried to flee backward in the run.  Fear made them do incredible things I had never imagined an animal could do.

WhyAs I experienced life, surviving the US Army and the US Navy, I learned what fear does to humans; worse, the consequences of fear leave an indelible impression upon the minds of those who chose to succumb to fear.  The movies never show this side of fear; books and magazines never discuss the aspects of what fear does to harm the mind and body of the person involved.  Worse, society has come up with terms and names to soften the repercussions of a moment’s fear.  As a kid, I watched a lot of M*A*S*H 4077; in one of those shows, Sigmund, the psychiatrist, talks about how a moment’s fear on the battlefield becomes a lifetime of regret, shame, and the potential of an eternal soul is lost.  All because, for one moment, fear overcame, and the body responded, while the mind lost control.

QuestionDo you know why?  Are you willing to discover the why and teach others what you have learned?  The final step in introspection is not acceptance but being willing to teach.  Through teaching, you learn more perfectly; this is a pattern that I have seen replicated in too many classrooms to ignore.  I met an amazing woman in a long-term care facility in Geneva, Ohio.  She was my mothers-in-law’s roommate.  She was a teacher and began her career in a one-room schoolhouse at sixteen.  She retired just after the school’s consolidated.  She had been blind for a long time.  I never met a more grateful person, and I have not met a more learned person!  She said every day she taught, she learned something new, which taught her to be grateful, and in gratitude, she taught and learned for her entire career and every day thereafter.

Thus, I ask again, do you know the why?  Are you willing to learn the why?  How you choose does determine your destiny.  I close with a final thought, are you willing to ever choose the harder right instead of, the easier wrong?  I am not perfect, I struggle to choose the harder right, but I also know the invaluable worth of being prepared mentally and not fearing.  I know the power that comes with choosing to know the why and allowing that choice, with its inherent and natural consequences, to lead towards making better decisions and learning.  There is power in knowing why there is power in failure, there is hope in failure, and great peace in knowing the why.How to Make Any Question Essential with Three Easy Steps – Wabisabi Learning

Search out the why.  Choose to learn.  After learning, accept the price of consequences and see how those consequences can change you!

© 2021 M. Dave Salisbury
All Rights Reserved
The images used herein were obtained in the public domain; this author holds no copyright to the images displayed.

 

NO MORE BS: Sacrifice and Selfishness – Understanding Begets Power

Personally, I do not care what you believe for religion, nor do I care about your bedroom choices, your skin color, your culture, heritage, or even your clothing or hairstyle.  What you do is more important.  What I do is more important.  How we form a free-thinking society, responsible people who love freedom and liberty under the “Rule of Law” is more important.  I have been called a bigot, a racist, a sexist, and so much more, primarily by ignorant byzantines who projected their own inadequacies, and I happened to call them out.  I have thick skin and big shoulders; you want to accuse me of stupid stuff; that is your choice; thankfully, you will also enjoy the consequences.

What is Sacrifice?

Webster provides multiple definitions for sacrifice; only those contained below are we considering:

      • An act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.”
      • A bid made in the belief that it will be less costly to be defeated in the contract than to allow the opponents to make a contract.”
      • Give up (something important or valued) for the sake of other considerations.”

Gary Hamel is quoted as saying, “A noble purpose inspires sacrifice, stimulates innovation, and encourages perseverance.”  Herein lies the importance of understanding sacrifice as a principle of power, a tool for constructing a life, and a mode of understanding the world.  People will always sacrifice for that which they desire; understanding this principle explains many human behaviors and the resulting consequences.

Consider our current (fraudulent) president, Biden.  He has sacrificed dignity, potential, life, and much more to attain in his senility the president’s chair.  I long to ask him if it was worth the sacrifice.  Except, the consequences of the president’s actions have ripped holes in the fabric of America, monumentally increased distrust in government at all levels, and is actively working to ruin America during his remaining days as president.  Hence, we must ask America, was the candidate worth the consequences?

As a principle, sacrifice must be understood as a double-edged sword; it cuts both ways.  Selfishly sacrifice, and you get harmed, selflessly sacrifice, and you gain even as you lose.  Like the double-edged sword, there is no safe spot to stand; you either slide one way or another, and danger lies on the edge of decision making.

What is Selfishness?

Interestingly, selfishness is being selfish, and being selfish is all about “lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with personal profit or pleasure,” according to Webster.  More specifically, selfishness is also self-centeredness and realizes that one is only concerned excessively or exclusively for oneself or one’s own advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others.

James Altucher is quoted saying, “Your competition is not other people but the time you kill, the ill-will you create, the knowledge you neglect to learn, the connections you fail to build, the health you sacrifice along your path, your inability to generate ideas, the people around you who don’t support and love your efforts, and whatever god you curse for your bad luck.”  The perfect summation of a life lived as selfish and self-centered.  Thereby presenting a person with some interesting questions, especially for juries deciding guilt or innocence, managers of people in employment, and parents of children.  Do we understand that selfishness is an empty hole that can never be filled?  Do we appreciate that sacrifices made selflessly are many times lost in the selfishness of others?  Will we choose to learn, connect, build, generate, and support?

Speaker Pelosi (D) is the most selfish person it has been my displeasure to know.  Blind to other people’s struggles, refusing to represent her district properly, continuously thinking she is the keystone in American Government and an institution in her own mind who refuses to act in any manner worthy of anything higher than utter contempt.  Unfortunately, Speaker Pelosi (D) is not alone in her attitude, actions, or refusal to represent those who elected them to a seat of American power.  If Speaker Pelosi had an ounce of humanity, she would have retired many years ago; instead, she bitterly clings to power and projects her insecurities and ineptitude onto others in her vile and detestable manner and methods.

Why is this topic important?

Sacrifice and selfishness are two sides of the same coin.  The extremes of a decision matrix line, where the person must choose, and cannot long remain neutral.  However, like all things, selfishness and sacrifice can be taken to the extremes, and in the extreme’s bondage, chaos, and trouble lie.  Do we, the lovers of liberty, understand that the extremes of anything bring problems, sickness, death, and disease?

Consider for a moment a friend of mine.  He sacrificed a lot of credit card debt to fund projects that were supposed to help other people.  But in the end, he had to file bankruptcy, he lost his house, he lost his spouse, and too many people thought his “sacrifice” was for selfish ends and hated him for his “gifts,” all while being “grateful for the gift” to his face.  Can a selfish act be a sacrifice worthy of the name; no!  We see this pattern explained in the New Testament when Jesus Christ is teaching the sermon on the mount; he talks about a man who fasts to be seen of men and has his reward not from God, but man.  He speaks of a man who prays on street corners to be seen of men and has his reward.  What is a sacrifice-minded person to do; enter into your closet and petition God in secret, and He who sees in secret rewards openly.

The connection between sacrifice and selfishness is clear, but also the extremes of action in selfishness and sacrifice are also apparent.  We have examples all around us of selfishness taken to extremes and the danger that lies on that path.  We also have examples around us of those who sacrifice selfishly and struggle.  The answer is to balance sacrifice and err on the side of selfless sacrifice; essentially, not running faster than we have strength.

Selfless sacrifice is not a new principle, tool, mode of living, or human capability, but selfless sacrifice requires discernment in making decisions.  Selfless sacrifice requires education, knowledge, and experience and includes failure!  Selfless sacrifice does not have a media cheering section but does come with genuine gratitude by those who know, and the reward is always greater than the sacrifice, law of the harvest.  Selfless sacrifice includes action, trust, hope, faith, and joy.  Paradoxically speaking, one would not involve joy in the activities of sacrifice.  Still, selfless sacrifice does include feelings of joy, hope and can be considered an extension of a person’s commitment to charitably living with others.

Best of all, selfless sacrifice is not a “religious” anything!  I know many great, and good people from all walks of life, and every religious flavor possible, and of them can be said, “They walk as an example of charity, hope, and faith embodied in human frailty.”  Hence, to all the irreligious and atheistic people, you can walk in like manner and have honor without affecting your choice of religiousness.  Selfless sacrifice contains the power to connect with other people, animals, and even plants in a more profound, more full manner than currently enjoyed.

I offer these thoughts for your consideration, hoping that by choosing differently, we can create a truly better world and not just a surface polish.  We, the humans on this planet, can live differently, without ruining our economies, without destroying each other, and without sacrificing freedom and liberty for the chains of government, and bondage to politically powered people.  All I ask is that you think about these principles and take action.  Thank you!

© 2021 M. Dave Salisbury
All Rights Reserved
The images used herein were obtained in the public domain; this author holds no copyright to the images displayed.