I admit October has been a hit-and-miss month, and I apologize. I am not sure why, but I recommit to doing a better job. Thank you for your patience, dear reader. Though I haven’t been sitting on my thumbs, I was invited to speak at a disability event and have been furiously writing for that. I speak on 27 October 2021 at 0600 EST. While the event is not open to the public, I plan to post my comments online after the event, suitably altered to hide the event and employer for contractual reasons.
Due mainly to the method of my upbringing, I struggle with conceptualizing terms like love, charity, compassion, feelings, and emotions. I fully understand anger, hate, and rage, but the rest I am a pure novice at best, and at worst, wholly ignorant. I read the texts, studied the books, watched films and lectures, been to psychiatrists and psychologists, and much more. My wife is very patient with me on this topic; my friends tend to tease me gently when they trip across my ignorance on a topic. My enemies know my shortcomings well but cannot use emotions to thwart me, for emotions just don’t work on me.
However, I am not a natural people person. I see someone crying, and I have no clue what to do if there is no visible injury. I know problem resolution, crisis management and can act well in all types of situations, but when it comes to soft skills and “playing well with others,” guess what subject I have consistently failed? Believe me; I have the K-12 report cards to prove my inability, as well as many a note sent home!
What is Compassion?
When the gushy parts in movies come along, I line up for the popcorn and soda machines. I know I am not alone; sometimes, there must be 20 other people, not just men, standing out there making purchases and visiting the bathrooms. I know I am a people watcher, so I can deduce there are more people than I who struggle with this concept. Let’s discuss; maybe we can learn something and not be so uncomfortable.
I find the etymology of a word tends to bring enlightenment; the definition of compassion includes the following gem, deep awareness of other people’s suffering accompanied by a deep desire to relieve that suffering. “Eyes that see and a heart that feels” is a saying the comes to mind to describe compassion as a noun. However, as a verb, compassion means to pity, and pity as a verb is to reflect regret, sympathy, or sorrow with another person. A word of warning, sympathy is very closely related to and often concealed by empathy. Where one is only dangerous to oneself when taken to extremes, the other is dangerous to all whenever practiced.
What is Empathy?
Empathy is all about acting like you understand another person’s emotions and you have a personal desire to share those emotions. Empathy is fake; empathy is a choice one exercises in the attempt to control a person or situation through emotion. Being empathetic is a skill set learned as a manner of defense or, for the more nefarious, to control others. Empathy is nothing more than faking concern. By encouraging empathy, a person with authority is looking to steal control over enough people to contain a group through that group’s emotional connections. By choosing to be empathetic, control over the conscious emotional choices is given to someone else for momentary social gains. Shift the social environment even slightly, and empathy becomes foolish. Still, people will continue to look for something to emote about, even after being caught feeling ridiculous about being empathetic for social gain.
What is Sympathy?
Sympathy is a process of coming to a common feeling in a social setting or group. The emotional pathway is journeyed by people or groups to feel the same emotions for someone else’s emotional state. Sympathy is a most dangerous emotional tool, not for the one experiencing the sorrow or misfortune, but for those who jump in with the person feeling the sadness or experiencing adversity. Understand, the sympathetic person attracts other sympathetic people, like moths to a flame or lemmings to a cliff. I have met people in my travels who were so sympathetic with another person that they thought they had contracted cancer, become pregnant, or had an addiction to dangerous drugs.
Historical Etymology of Compassion
The following is quoted from the Online Etymological Dictionary to satisfy my inner nerd and explore the etymology further, and the link is provided above. Latin compassio is an ecclesiastical loan-translation of Greek sympatheia. Sometimes in Middle English, it meant a literal sharing of affliction or suffering with another. An Old English loan-translation of compassion was efenðrowung. “Com” word-forming element usually meaning “with, together,” from Latin com, archaic form of classical Latin cum “together, together with, in combination,” from PIE *kom– “besides, near, by, with” (compare Old English ge-, German ge-). The prefix in Latin sometimes was used as an intensive. “Passion” c. 1200, “the sufferings of Christ on the Cross; the death of Christ,” from Old French passion “Christ’s passion, physical suffering” (10c.), from Late Latin passionem (nominative passio) “suffering, enduring,” from the past-participle stem of Latin pati “to endure, undergo, experience,” a word of uncertain origin. The notion is “that which must be endured.”
To the atheists, just because Jesus Christ is mentioned does not make something a religious discussion. I find it interesting that passion, passio, is directly related to enduring and suffering of physical experiences of Jesus Christ. Does this mean that a compassionate person is reflecting attributes of Jesus Christ? If so, does this mean mortal beings can acquire godly attributes and still be mortals? If not, to what should mortals aspire?
Along the vein of etymology, feeding my inner nerd, and discovering insight into compassion, I went looking for actions that reflect compassion, adjectives describing compassion. The foremost adjective for compassion is compassionate; how very intriguing. You look for concrete ways to act in a manner of compassion, and you are told to be compassionate; doesn’t this form a logic circle and a paradox?
Remember, a paradox includes two seemingly opposite points, which are opposites on the first reflection but, on further consideration, are more closely related than opposing. In considering compassion and compassionate, we find the etymology important to understanding the relationship, physical suffering endured and experienced for others, or on another’s behalf. According to the New Testament and other religious texts, we find this is the recorded mission of Jesus Christ. IN the definition of compassion, we find mortals can possess a deep awareness of other people’s suffering and choose to have the awareness be accompanied by a deep desire to relieve that suffering. But, what if the person with the awareness and desire does not have the ability; what do they do? Are they less compassionate? Do they somehow become reduced, heartless, uncaring, or judged for not giving when they do not have?
The answers from the different religions are fascinating on this topic, and if you belong to an organized religion, please feel free to discuss this topic with your Rabbi, Minister, Father, Preacher, Bishop, etc., Atheists, feel free to discuss this topic below and with your friends. Those in less organized and non-standard religions do what I do, the absolute best you can, and leave the rest in the hands of people more capable.
However, we still return to the core root of compassion; what is it? From this point forward, I am going to express my limited knowledge and informed opinion. I could be as wrong eating yellow snow in January, but here goes.
Compassion is being cognizant of the people around you. See someone with their arms full; rush to open a door. Offer a hand; better still, find a cart and help them fill the cart. It’s raining, hold an umbrella—Pet a dog. Sit down beside a stranger and listen. See a puddle while driving, slow down, and drive throw without splashing the bus stop where someone is waiting for a bus. See a sign asking for help, give without judgment; does it really matter what they will do with your contribution? Say please. Say thank you! Say you’re welcome. Manners matter.
Modesty in speech, clothing, and behavior matters. A friend of mine was fond of the following, saying, “Everyone can do something. Pitch in!” As a disabled person, I miss being part of that mentality. I miss being able to “pitch in.” Society tells me to stay away, we do not need you, “You’re disabled.” See someone left out; find a way to include them.
If you question why you are doing something, keep doing it until the questions go away. Never fear a question; fear not acting on something you feel is the right thing to do. Want to see society change? Start the change you want to see by exemplifying that change. I am still not totally sure what compassion is; I know I want to help people. I know my resources are limited, but my desire is great. Let’s do something compassionate; if I understand compassion properly, let’s encourage one person today. Even if that person is just you, be more encouraging to others. Society needs more encouragement, needs more smiles, needs more humanity.
By the way, did you catch the news? A huge cheese factory explosion occurred in France; da Brie is everywhere. A large multinational response is underway. The Kaiser is rolling Hamburgers, and the Danes sent fresh pastries.
© 2021 M. Dave Salisbury
All Rights Reserved
The images used herein were obtained in the public domain; this author holds no copyright to the images displayed.
There is a principle in life, “If you are not whole without something, you will never be whole with it.” Modern psychology will not teach restraint to gain freedom. It will often try to encourage a person to continue to do self-harm through their lifestyle while at the same time trying to find inner peace through the same lifestyle causing inner turmoil. Yet, natural law and common sense declare if what you are currently doing is causing you distress, stop what you are presently doing first.
Believe it or not, appetite control is a choice and begins with a desire to learn. The paradox in training is that when the desire to learn is stronger than the appetite to remain ignorant, the learner will produce the effort to change through learning. This is why appetite control is such a critical and fundamental topic for understanding. Desire is appetite, an appetite is a tool for good or ill, and bridling an appetite is every person’s job if they choose self-mastery as a means of self-regulation and self-improvement. When we choose self-mastery, we choose to become free!
How are the best racehorses made? Sure, breeding helps. But, training is as, if not more, crucial. A good animal does not become a great animal until they are placed into the hands of a good trainer who puts restraints upon the animal. A bridle, a harness, a saddle, wrap their legs to protect against ligament strain, shoes on their feet, and much more. Then over time, the animal learns that the restraints, which at first were chafing and fought against, become the tools by which the horse achieves greatness. The same is true for humans, every human, and those who, throw the restraints, never achieve freedom, never achieve excellence, and refuse their potential for momentary happiness, all because of appetite.
Do we understand that only through restraining our appetites can we personally enjoy freedom? Do we teach appetite restraint to our children, knowing that when they control themselves, they can enjoy freedom, and help them to understand why appetite restraint is a good thing? Do we exemplify appetite restraint in society in speech, clothes, manners and encourage others to do similarly? If not, why?
Emperor Titus Flavius Vespasian began work on the Coliseum of Rome in 69 AD. Upon completion of the Coliseum, his son Emperor Titus held 100-days and nights of festival in the Coliseum. Ostensibly to calm the masses after the civil unrest following the death of Emperor Nero, the Coliseum acted precisely as it was planned, distract the masses, while the emperor consolidated his power, undermined the Roman Senate, and set the stage for the end of the Roman Empire. Roman laws were built, originally, upon the consent of the governed until the emperors broke the law. The people rebelled, and before the squabbling senators could take control, the Roman government was subjugated to empirical rule. All historical facts, reflecting the power of the consent of the governed and a lesson upon which we can plot the future if we are brave enough to take action.
The consent of the governed is built upon the intermingled trust between people as a body electing government officers and people representing those elected as government officers. The problems have arisen because many in public office have refused to accept the government of those who elected them and have served only themselves and the monied interests buying their time. Thus, trust propensity in government has dropped to disastrous levels. Adding to the problem are the accumulated actions of previously elected officials who have set a pattern for personal wealth by tax and spend, supporting political cronies, and gerrymandering system to protect them from negative election results. The trust between people of shared values has been broken by those elected, who never shared values, who refuse to live in their home districts, and whose time and the highest bidder can purchase interests. Thus, is it any wonder that people no longer believe the lies of government are restless and agitated?
The Virginia Declaration of Rights prefixed the Virginia Colony’s constitution and was written by a reluctant statesman and largest landowner, George Mason. In sixteen statements on government and the rights of man, we find the consent of the governed and the need for controls on government pertinent to our day and time. For this article, we are focused upon the first three articles in the Declaration of Rights and the fundamental principles of liberty that must be refreshed and revisited often to maintain a government of the people, by the people, for the people, and where the consent of the governed is respected.
I weep for Venezuela, Cuba, Brazil, Hong Kong, Vietnam, and so many other countries where the people’s voice was twisted, distorted, stolen, or outright silenced to implant a government that does not represent the people. But, the principles remain the same; your consent to be governed remains the tinder upon which your money is exchanged. Your consent to be governed remains the trust used to keep unjust regimes and totalitarian officers in office. Your consent to be governed is the straw that will break the camels back and force changes to government. If the last century has taught us anything, when the people have had enough, collectively stand, and refuse their consent to be governed, blessed change will come, and governments crumble and blow away like dust in heavy winds!
The elected clowns have filled my email inbox with all sorts of marketing emails regarding “The Equality Act.” The Equality Act remedies these disparities by amending the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to explicitly prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity in employment, education, housing, credit, jury service, public accommodations, and federal funding. The following are not examples of closed-mindedness, nor am I passing judgment; honest questions, attempting to understand a social issue that makes no sense to me personally, creating too much emotional hyperbole in society.
The one relationship I have had where I did not respect my partner to keep my bedroom choices in my bedroom and not in public, I have regretted it, and apologies never made right my loss of control. I learned harsh lessons about respect and caring about the other person; more, I learned about respecting society to allow social behavior to not interfere with my partner and me.
Modesty in public is more than hemlines, it is an attitude of respect for others, and it is a desire to not inflict upon another that which they do not want to witness. Yet, every day, a person is assaulted in public by behaviors and activities that belong at home, or more specifically in a bedroom. Since the LGBTQ+ crowd seems to have lost their minds the most with respect for their partner/s and the public square, I must ask, why do you disrespect yourselves and your partner/s so much as to take your bedroom into public? Not letting the heterosexual crowd off the hook, the last couple of movie theaters visited had severe problems with respect and modesty in public.
Thus, I ask, what happened to respect for oneself, their partner, and the public in presenting modest behavior in public and controlling one’s behavior until they returned home? What happened to respect for the public square and standards for conduct in public? It is not too much to ask a person to control themselves and respect their partner/s in public!
Why was the “Equality Act” fast-tracked into Congressional business when so many other issues remain outstanding? You, the elected representatives in the legislative branch, have two jobs, write common-sense laws that help everyone, and scrutinize the government. How is that scrutinization of government going? Have all the problems with out-of-control bureaucrats been resolved? Can veterans receive respect and dignity from the VA? What about the IRS, are their employees all paying their taxes now? What about all the other government departments? How are they operating? Have all their unfunded liabilities been collected and a plan put into place to pay them off?
Pride has several definitions, the first being, according to Webster, Noun – “a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.” The second, “consciousness of one’s dignity.” The third, “confidence and self-respect as expressed by members of a group, typically one that has been socially marginalized, based on their shared identity, culture, and experience.”
Enmity remains synonymous with pride for a reason. Pride is always competitive in nature, where the person possessing pride claims they are better than everyone else, and all must bow and worship the owner of pride. Well, I have removed my consent to be governed by you! Pride is always short-tempered, unkind, envious, and hostile. Hence, I wonder why you choose to feel pride over passing the “Equality Act.” Did you read the act before voting? How many elected supporters got their palms greased, and their special interests paid for with the public’s money to pass the “Equality Act?”
Another result of School 2 educational methodology was pointed out to me, the loss of the virtuous woman and the modest man. I owe my life and sanity to a Catholic Nun, who left the nunnery to work in the real world with children. Miss Murphy was a virtuous woman, not just because of her commitments to the church as a nun, but her poise, her speech, her mental aptitude and attitude, all bespoke virtue. Miss Murphy was my principal at Governor Anderson Elementary School, Belfast, Maine, for three years. She remained my friend for another two years, and her example has had a significant influence on me.
I never met my paternal grandfather; my paternal grandmother was a virtuous woman, a nurse, and an influence for good. My maternal grandmother and grandfather were two of the most virtuous and modest people I ever met. Some fond memories exist with both of these incredible people, and I hope I am representing their virtues and modesty appropriately. My maternal great-grandmother was an incredible woman. She was blind, but her clothes were always neat and comely, her house was immaculate, and sure she had some help, but the core was all her.
They got lost as School 2 progressivism won the contest for educating young minds. As children’s education became the reduction of minds to animal appetites increasingly, virtue and modesty were the first victims. When I went to school, if your underwear was showing, it was considered a crime. I was bullied and got a wedgie, the principal saw my underwear, and I got a two-day suspension and had to write a report on modesty in public and why modesty was important, as a condition to returning to school. Now, underwear is everywhere, virtue and modesty are punchlines in-jokes, and the grandeur and mystery of the human body are belittled and mocked.
I love watching and observing people, children are the best, and little girls are amazing. Why, because little girls live in their own world, interpret their worlds so dynamically different from boys, and ages of girls have distinct differences in understanding the world. Get a group of 4-year old girls together, and they play differently than 5-year old girls, while their worlds can merge the girl’s world always remain separate. But, too often, I see children forced into roles that they are uncomfortable with. For example, little girls need a space of their own to think, consider, play, interpret, and be safe. The girl is often bombarded with stuff that does not allow a safe space, and the little girl grows up insecure.
Wandering through a clothing store one day, I was shocked, bewildered, and dismayed to see two-piece bikinis for newborns and toddlers. How is a girl to learn her body’s majesty if her every waking moment is spent showing off her body? How is a boy to learn control and respect for his body and a girl’s body when the clothes available are immodest at best?
The time for silence is over. The time for immodesty in public, displayed in verbal explosions of profanity, clothes that do not reflect respect in self, and the mocking of virtue, needs to end. We are not animals, and we are not unrestrained appetites. We are more than the connections of neurons that are turned on and off by a need for sensory gratification. Those who are currently in power can be defeated and deserve to be defeated by realizing that we no longer accept that which has been “educated” into our brains.
Virtue, by definition, is the moral excellence of a person. A morally excellent person has a character made-up of virtues valued as useful. Virtue is moral excellence. A virtue is a trait or quality deemed morally acceptable and thus is valued as a foundation of principle and good moral being. Personal virtues are characteristics valued as promoting collective and individual greatness. Aristotle provided 12 unique virtues, which we should begin with understanding and acquiring. Aristotle’s 12 virtues:
Literacy is the power to inspire the mind, grow the soul, and improve the world we live in. Freedom arrives thru and as a result of learning, reading, and questioning. Freedom and liberty grow as our love of literacy increases. The answer to improving democracy everywhere is freeing the minds through reading, writing, and learning.
Civility is defined as politeness in speech and courtesy in behavior. Yet, I was raised that civility, like respect, is earned. When someone abuses you, disrespects you, lies to your face, and stabs you in the back; offering civility and respect to that person had been forfeit, and you receive what you earned—not condoning violence, merely the action of meeting disrespect and loathing, with disrespect, and loathing.
In reviewing the historical usage of the term civility, we might answer why the calls for civility are being made now. From dictionary.com we find, the origins of civil in the “late Middle English: from Old French civilite, from Latin civilitas, from civilis ‘relating to citizens’ (see civil). In early use, the term denoted the state of being a citizen and hence good citizenship or orderly behavior. The sense ‘politeness’ arose in the mid 16th century” [emphasis mine]. Apparently, we have another president who considers themselves above the machinations of ordinary folk, by reason of being elected, and now wants all their citizens to exude “orderly behavior.” Carrot and stick tyranny, using the people’s money and abusing government for self-aggrandizement and enrichment.
John Pinette, the comedian, had a famous line, “My Cherub-Like Demeanor.” Well, “My cherub-like demeanor” has been abused, beaten, and bruised enough! Civility is respect, respect is civility, and both require a place for growth through trust. I cannot trust a fraudulent president. I cannot trust the media. I cannot trust Congress. Why should I allow my cherub-like demeanor to continue to be abused while I abase myself in the hopes that some government bureaucratic ticket-puncher will send benefits my way?
Civility is a grand goal to achieve, but offering courtesy and getting slapped, is not a method for progression but continued abuse. President Trump taught well; you can disagree without resorting to violence. You can share a cherub-like demeanor with those who respect you and treat your opposition as they treat you. You can stand and oppose without losing the moral high ground. That is what is needed right now! End the liberal left’s grand ideas of superiority by reminding them they are citizens as well, and civility is first offered, not demanded without reciprocation. It must be shared to improve anything with those who think differently.
DNC-Consulting 