Woman!

Detective 4The majority of this article was drafted before the controversy with the SCOTUS nominee.  The intent is to honor the role of women and woman.  Affirming again that how you choose to live is your business and is between you and whatever god, God, or gods you worship.  Provided you allow others the same rights to life, liberty, and pursue happiness, I do not care how you choose to live.

How you choose to live should not denigrate anyone, let alone biologically living males and females, men and women.  Leading this discussion to answer the simple question posed by US Senator Marsha Blackburn (R-Tenn) to SCOTUS nominee Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson, “What is a woman?”  Again, affirming the role and embodiment of a woman is more than the sum of her sexual parts; the question does have merit and deserves answered.  What is a woman?

The Bible relates that all creation occurred in six days; on the sixth day, the woman was created as the supreme creation of God, and then God rested on the seventh day.  Not here to argue religion, but to herald that final glorious act of creation, the woman.  How grateful I am for the women in my life.  Various scriptures relate that woman was created so man would not be alone, so a helpmeet was found for Adam, and the woman would be equal to the man in all things.  An interesting dichotomy was found in creating the woman: Adam was created of the dust, but the woman was created from Adam’s side.  According to biblical accounts, no other female in the species created replicated this pattern.  Clearly, there is a lesson for us to understand, acknowledge, and support socially through laws and societal norms.

Male v. FemaleWhat a unique creation the woman is.  Paradoxical in all things, a woman is soft and strong, inflexible and flexile, independent, and a great team member.  What family is complete without a woman and a man?  One of the great truths in life is that man and woman were created separate and dependent, and gender is an eternal construct.  Each person is born male and female, with their creator’s traits, personalities, and intelligence.  Yet what do we see in all modern societies; the continued blurring of lines, roles, and dehumanization of the grandeur of man and woman, but of the two woman, has been taking the worst hits.

Consider fashion; since the feminist movement began, fashion for women has warped and destroyed the modesty, chastity, and glory of a woman.  Fashionistas are trying to make the woman into a young boy at best.  Always to be “fashionable,” the woman is made to squeeze, pinch, and be uncomfortable.  Women’s shoes are a contortion and torture exercise, a balancing act sacrificing function and comfort for some twisted idea of style.  Long have I looked upon the inequality in fashion between men and women and been abhorred, disgusted, and discomfited by the base and profane ideas accepted as “stylish” and “fashionable.”  Women, why do you allow yourself and your high and holy station to be demeaned in the name of “fashion?”

Consider make-up and all the chemicals a woman is “supposed” to use to “improve” her beauty.  The emoluments alone are sufficient to baffle and bewilder, then add the smells and paints, and the woman is taught from day one that being natural is insufficient to being attractive or whole.  Yet, I know differently, for I have seen strong and powerful women who never touch these things and remain effective, regnant, and influential.  Tell me honestly, what you put on your face, to make up, what value is there in this process?  Who told you you needed these chemicals to be a woman?Virtuous Woman 3

Human biology, and I would presume all biological sciences, defines a female as having two X chromosomes, whereas males have an X and a Y chromosome.  I passed biology with high marks but failed zoology as I did not attend enough to be scored.  If there is a biologist who would like to weigh in, please feel free to correct me.  The developing fetus develops as either a male or female as growth occurs in the germinal, embryonic, and fetal stages of life.  The physical characteristics separating males and females are coded into a person’s DNA, and fourth-grade science was apparent on these topics.

Psychology in recent years has declared that a person’s choices can change the gender of a person, but the sex of a person remains coded genetically.  Thus, woman, as a biologically separate class of animals, have different bone structures, hair, glands, skin, hormones, etc., coded from birth, regardless of how that person chooses how to live.  Please allow me to make a strong point, a woman, and for that matter, a man, are more than the sum of their sexual parts.  If this were not true, then those men having sexual reassignment surgery to obtain female genitalia would automatically adopt all the characteristics of a woman upon the conclusion of surgery.  VaccineEstrogen and testosterone, hormones, and chemicals would not need to be supplemented, and the mental processes separating a man and a woman would not need to be fought so assiduously by those having their sex surgically or chemically altered.  Again, supporting the fact that it is psychology and not biology, establishing the difference between biological men and women, and the sum of their sexual parts is a non-issue.

On the topic of psychology, look to the results of choosing to live in a manner opposite of birth sex.  We discover suicides, depression, anxiety, and a host of other mental diseases prevalent in this population, not witnessed to the same degree in different populations.  Why the LGBTQ+ populations have such prevalent and significant occurrences of these mental diseases is a question modern society refuses to research as this has been termed out of bounds as potentially anti-LGBTQ+.  Thus, research supports that the populations of those choosing to live life in this manner have these mental problems but refuses to ask why; do you see a problematic situation?  All this while attacking the role, lifestyles, and position of woman.

20 Inspirational Quotes for Women All Around the WorldUnder the role of woman, there is a title worthy of acknowledgment, and the title is lady.  Like gender, being a lady is a choice, a lifestyle, and contains social obligations, societal expectations, and requires significant effort on the part of the woman to obtain the title lady.  For example, Nancy Reagan was a lady, Hilary Clinton is merely a woman.  What separates these two women is class, respect, dignity, and more, not politics, not personality, and definitely not lifestyles and social circles.  Being a lady requires sacrifice, making choices over long periods of time, and it demands total commitment to achieve.  Females become women through growth, females become ladies by choice and sacrifice, and are granted this title by others.

In attempting to make this distinction clearer, allow me to draw a more specific example between women and ladies.  Gretchen Wilson sings a song, “Redneck Woman.”  The song lists qualities of a woman, specifically a class of woman “Redneck women.”  No aspersions cast, no denigration, and no offense offered.  Frankly, I have deep respect for several redneck women.  I am also proud to know and respect a lot of women who ride horses as cowgirls and rodeo stars, some really kick butt women from the US Military, and more.  But, a lady is phenomenally different by choice, and this is the point.18 Inspiring Independent Women Quotes By Famous & Powerful Women

Great ladies of history include amongst their ranks Katherine Hepburn, Doris Day, Nancy Reagan, Barbara “The Silver Fox” Bush, Abagail Adams, Mary Todd Lincoln, Mother Theresa, Queen Elizabeth II, Margaret Thatcher, Sarah and Esther of Old Testament fame, Mary of New Testament fame, these and more are ladies.  First and foremost, these females are women, strong and independent, then they choose to become ladies and are honored more than mere women or as the sum of their sexual parts.  Women honored, revered, and respected for their contributions to womanhood, society, and sacrifices, women who practiced gentleness, compassion, respect, and kindness as quintessential aspects of their core identity, not for worldly fame or personal gain.  Abraham Lincoln, America’s 16th President, honored two women as mothers and called both ladies of influence.  Yet, Disney would have us believe that all stepmothers are horrible creatures.  A vast chasm exists between women and ladies, and this is but one of the separations or classifications between women; by the choices the woman makes, a lady is created.Strong Women Quotes, Powerful Independent Woman Quotes

In trying to make a point about not hitting women, President Biden accidentally created a problem.  President Biden remarked that nobody should punch a woman in the face.  Distinguishing multiple times in the same speech that hitting a woman in the face, specifically, is not allowed.  As a kid, I learned not to hit women at all; even if being attacked by a woman, a man merely defends themselves restraining a woman if necessary, not to cause additional injury to herself or someone else.  But, Biden implied that only hitting a woman in the face is problematic; what a detestable creature is the man who would hit a woman!  I am not condoning violence in any shape or against any person.  For thousands of years and across hundreds of societies, those who would enact violence, society, rightly, has dolled out steeper punishments to those committing violence against women.Quotes from some of the most Famous Women in History ! - TechStory

Social laws throughout recorded history have always treated women differently.  Sometimes in history, this has been to the detriment and unequal treatment of women, and recently in history, treating women as equals to men is a fact that should be cheered and heralded.  Yet, along comes transgenderism demanding equal treatment under the law, not as a separate but equal category, but supplanting women, representing more attacks on women and womanhood by conspiring men for personal gain.  Don’t believe me; look at the story of the NCAA and the recent swimmer making news and winning championships, and tell me that conspiring men are not attacking the equality of women.  A charade of disrespect is cast before us, slandering women and womanhood for some amorphous and ambiguous term for lifestyle choices and not sound science, or respectful dialogue about laws.

Knowledge Check!I conclude where I began, respecting women, honoring ladies, and decrying the attack on women and womanhood as the demented and twisted attack of conspiring men and women who would see women destroyed upon the altar of political correctness.  Ladies, you have my respect, admiration, and sword, for you are deserving.  Women, you have my respect for the roles you fill as opposites of men and your work as mothers, teachers, and the co-equal helpmeet of men.  May those conspiring to destroy you be found buried in the hole they have dug for your destruction.

© Copyright 2022 – M. Dave Salisbury
The author holds no claims for the art used herein, the pictures were obtained in the public domain, and the intellectual property belongs to those who created the images.  Quoted materials remain the property of the original author.

NO MORE BS: Masculinity is NOT Toxic

Theres moreUsually, when the Society for Human Resources Management (SHRM) sends me an email, I can understand where the authors are coming from and generally accept what is being discussed.  I might disagree, I might not like the topic, but I can usually understand the premise and then move forward.  Not today!

Holly Althof, writing for SHRM, discusses “How Toxic Masculinity is Ruining Your Workplace Culture: When Leaders Fail to See How Toxic Masculinity Influences Their Teams’ Dynamics, The Whole Organization Will Fail.”  Here’s the rub, the behaviors discussed as “toxic masculinity” are just rude, boorish, and downright abysmal behavior and are behaviors that arise in all genders.  “Men talking over women,” women talking over men, LGBTQ+ talking over everyone, non-gender militancy in the workplace; all of these behaviors are detestable, but only men are accused of being toxic to the workplace.  Wrong!

Frank & Ernest - Government and WomenMen are not the offenders, or rather they are not the only offenders of toxic communication practices in the workplace.  I worked in one toxic call center where a member of the LGBTQ+ community was actively sexually harassing the males on his team.  The leadership refused to believe that any member of the LGBTQ+ community could act in this manner, refused to believe that the higher number of men on his team were leaving due to sexual harassment, and denied any culpability when these men demanded the supervisor/team leader be stopped.  Worse, this person has retained his position and continued to act in a hostile, toxic, and sexually aggressive manner to the men on his teams.

I have written about the boorish and inexcusable behavior of a female lead who physically attacked me, actively harassed me, and discriminated against me in Federal Employment, how she was promoted and awarded for her leadership, and how she continued to make my life hell, even after I ended that work relationship.  This specific incident was fed and made worse by disinformation received by the assistant director and director of the VA Hospital administration we both worked for.  Abhorrent and boorish behavior comes from every gender, and it is past time for authors to recognize and admit the truth; men are not the only perpetrators of bad behavior in the workplace.  Men are simply a usual and easy target for authors, an action and misnomer that must cease!

Ziggy on Political WeatherWhat is Toxic Masculinity?

Dr. Timothy J. Legg provides an excellent example of both toxic masculinity and covers the ever-evolving process to define and categorize behaviors considered as toxic masculinity.  The current, definitive definition of toxic masculinity is “the constellation of socially regressive [masculine] traits that serve to foster domination, the devaluation of women, homophobia, and wanton violence.”  However, what eludes Dr. Legg, and Althof is that these are just normal behaviors found in all people, not only men!  Want examples from Dr. Legg of what is considered “Toxic Masculinity:”

      • strength
      • lack of emotion
      • self-sufficiency
      • dominance
      • sexual virility
      • aggression
      • sexual aggression or control
      • showing no emotion or suppressing emotions
      • hyper-competitiveness
      • needing to dominate or control others
      • a tendency towards or glorification of violence
      • isolation
      • low empathy
      • entitlement
      • chauvinism and sexism

B.C. - I thought this was funnySeriously?!?!  Having served in the US Army and US Navy, and having traveled ¾’s of the way around the world, I can claim for certain, with lots of examples to support the conclusion, that all people can take any one or all of those examples of “Toxic Masculinity” and turn the culture of a small team or large organization on their ear!  I have seen women, strong and independent, smart, intelligent, but with an ax to grind, destroy units, and have to be restrained.  I have witnessed enough militant LGBTQ+ members and non-militant LGBTQ+ members wreak havoc on organizations, taking advantage of people’s fear and making the workplace harmful and toxic.  Yes, some men do the same stupid and boorish behaviors; but this is no excuse to single out just men for “Toxic Masculinity.”

What makes no sense, the term “Toxic Masculinity” was created by a men’s group in the 1980s to describe attributes that made a man a man and were refused by society as positive and acceptable.  Now the tyrants of modular language have plasticized the term into any action a male person does that is not the precise response desired by another gender. Phrases like “Man-Up” are considered ridiculous and generate aggression, whereas the term “Woman Up” is seen as liberating and positive expressions of women’s power.  Uwe Poerksen remains correct; when words lose their definitions, terms are plasticized, tyrants of thought police abound, and logic is lost for emotional hyperbole.

Detective 4While Althof attempts to claim toxic masculinity is not a “campaign against men,” the entire article is written from the position that men are the only offenders. Men are the problems, and men are the only ones who show masculinity in the workplace.  I contracted with an organization, a well-known brand, whose CEO was female, most of the board was female at the time, and the organization honestly strove to be a diverse and welcoming culture.  But, critics still called the organization a patriarchal system designed to keep men on top.  Seriously, this was the main complaint against this organization, proving that since you cannot please everyone, stop trying to please anyone!

Before you go ballistic over that last comment, please allow me to explain.  I sincerely believe that one of the most damaging behaviors seen in today’s workplaces is a desire to please everyone.  You see this in diversity and inclusion discussions. You see this in men being marginalized; it is apparent in so many conversations and behaviors that castigated men have become part of the organizational design at a lot of well-known branded companies.  Business requires returning a profit to the stakeholders and shareholders.  Being actively hostile to 50% of the binary gender populations is not conducive to producing a profit, nor does it make any sense.  Hence, since you cannot please everyone, stop trying to please anyone.  Working together towards a common goal, sacrificing personal opinions for a greater effort by a team is referred to as professionalism, and men and women are very good at getting along and making things work.

ReadingMen and women are different; this is acceptable, enjoyable, and makes the world better.  Men and women approach situations from differing angles, and this is also acceptable, enjoyable, and makes the world better.  Trying to force men and women to approach situations from the same perception will only breed hostility, and blaming men for the problems is frankly inexcusable.  The answer is not found in more inclusion and diversity conversations; the answer is found in allowing working together to occur more naturally.  Is this concept clear?

Forcing men to refuse masculinity places the burdens of socially working together solely upon men, which is unfair and blatantly false.  Forcing women to restrict their feminity destroys the potential for better solutions while muzzling female creativity and ingenuity, which is also patently false.  Both binary genders need to express openly, without fear of tyrants belittling them for being different in their approaches and methods of finding solutions; this is the conversation we need to be having in the workplace, not “Toxic Masculinity!”

LookFinally, if you choose to be a member of the non-binary genders, for whatever reason, this is your choice.  Nothing here implies that you do not have a choice or cannot be part of the solutions.  Make your gender choice, enjoy your gender choice, and may the consequences of that choice be acceptable to you.  There is no judgment and no criticisms implied or otherwise; if you choose to take offense, that also is your choice and consequence.

© 2021 M. Dave Salisbury
All Rights Reserved
The images used herein were obtained in the public domain; this author holds no copyright to the images displayed.