Padmé in “Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith” makes a powerful statement about the galactic war being fought, “This war represents a failure to listen.” While Padmé insists that diplomacy is required, this is incorrect. Diplomacy is the political game of charades, with smoke and mirrors of intelligence games. Diplomacy fails because each sides agenda is more important than the words being spoken, which is why so much of the work done in diplomatic circles is done in “informal settings.” Diplomacy fails to listen.
America is a Republic, rather America is a Constitutional Republic, where the rule of law as written is the supreme law of the land to which every citizen is bond. In the world there are democracies, where the mob rules. There are socialist governments where the fat of government is forcibly taken through taxation and doled out by the micro-ounce to those selected to win or lose. There are still communist governments and monarchies where the leaders are pampered to the detriment of the citizenry. Unfortunately, between these extremes are a host of other government types who borrow pieces from many government theories thinking they can escape the negative consequences of those government methodologies.
Yet again we find Padmé’s counsel appropriate and timely. Before war begins, there is always a refusal to listen. For example, it is historically accurate that the US Government had signs and warnings of the impending Japanese Attack on Pearl Harbor, but the US Government had stopped listening to adverse advice, and America paid dearly for that failure to listen. Worse, war came, and hundreds of thousands paid in blood for that failure to listen.
The Russians thought diplomacy was the appropriate approach to Nazi Germany; and Nazi Germany made the Russians pay in blood for the failure of the government to listen. Even though history has regularly taught the Russians not to engage in diplomatic solutions with Germans. This was hardly the first fight between Germany and Russian troops and governments. Failure to listen, and the citizens suffered tremendously to overthrow both Nazi Germany and then the chains of Communism.
Consider again the relationship between Mexico and the United States, the Mexican Government has never been an ally or friend to the United States; yet, the governments refuse to listen to common sense, and throughout history, those people hellbent on destroying America have always found safe passage and refuge in Mexican borders. History relates that the failure of governments to listen, is the root of the United States and Mexican sour relationship.
Cuba has suffered under Communism and Castro’s poor ideas because government leaders refused to listen. Venezuela fell because the governments in power refused to listen to each other, bribed the electorate, stole elections, and now a once mighty nation is starving while their government leaders sit in luxury. How many times will this story have to repeat before the citizens of governments learn, we must be able to speak freely, and listen appreciatively, if we are to survive, grow, and prosper.
For too long, the powers of the world who consider themselves above the law have worked to keep the citizens separated into fighting factions. Every conceivable line that can be drawn to distract, separate, denigrate, and deride has been drawn, and the only people winning in this are those drawing the lines. Republicans against Democrats, Homosexuals against Heterosexuals, religions aplenty all against each other, state to state, NFL/NHL/NBA/NASCAR and so much more adding confusion and noise to the problem and further separating people along ambiguous lines to keep them from talking and listening appreciatively to each other.
How many families cannot have a meal without choices of lifestyle and hostility ending conversation over a failure to listen? Can a Chicago Bears Family survive long with a fan from Minnesota or Wisconsin? What about the other choices people make in their lives, religious flavor versus another religious flavor; this simple line has been destroying nations since history began being recorded. What do we see in the Old Testament; governments repeatedly failing because they stopped listening.
Please note, this is not a call to drop standards, accepting everything, and singing “Kumbaya,” while Rome burns, and society dies an ignominious death. This is a call to cease destroying society and begin listening first! Why were the riots this past summer so brutal and destructive; first the mob stopped listening, then they stopped talking, and then they started fires and terrorizing society. Why did they stop listening; because they assumed no one heard them and cared enough to shift the paradigm, (patterns of thought and action all based upon selfishness and pride).
Why did Anakin stop being a Jedi; he stopped listening, then he selectively listened, he began acting as a terrorist, and then he became Darth Vader. This plot line of refusing to listen is so prevalent and obvious because humans continue to make the same mistake. When we stop listening to each other, we stop talking; when we stop talking, we become overwhelmed by our own echo-chambers, and create the chaos that ultimately destroys our lives, our dreams, and our futures until we begin to lay aside petty differences and listen to each other again.
Listening has four distinct levels:
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- Inactive listening – Hearing words, seeing written communication, zero impact mentally. Mostly because your internal voices drown out the possibility for communication.
- Selective listening – Hearing only that which confirms your own voices, opinions, and biases. While others are speaking, you are already forming your response.
- Active listening – Show the other person you are paying attention, engage with meaning in a reply. Focused upon removing barriers to get your point across.
- Reflective listening – Paying attention to intent and content, reducing emotion, two-direction as both parties are engaged in achieving mutual understanding.
Listening appreciatively is reflective listening, where we commit to listening with the intent to achieve mutual understanding. Essentially, to improve government we must listen first with the intent to reach mutual understanding, before we ever open our mouths to speak.
The following are some launch points for improving listening in society:
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- Understand your desire. Know that your desire choices are determining your destiny. If your destiny is not one you appreciate, return to desire, make different choices.
- Practice mental preparation based upon previous situations, to make different choices. Listening is a voyage of discovery to reach a mutual understanding, but mental preparation is key to safely reach the destination. Prepare, use a mirror, practice until what currently feels alien becomes familiar.
- Reduce emotion. The principle of empathy and sympathy are destroying listening and only reflect the internal voices. The volume of internal voices is silencing the ability to reflectively listen, necessitating the need to fake actively listening.
- Listen as you would have others listen to you. This is an adaptation of the “Golden Rule” and remains applicable as a personal choice. How you choose to listen will determine your destiny.
- Listening remains the number one tool you control and has application to written communication and verbal communication channels. Body language is a non-verbal communication channel that can be heard as well as seen. How are you communicating non-verbally which is interfering with your written and verbal communication attempts?
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Listening is a choice. Listening is hard. Yet, many people have pointed out that we have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as often as we speak. Choose to reflectively listen, choose to reach a mutual understanding, watch society change. It has been said that the US Constitution will hang by a thread, rule of law and the American Republic hang upon our decisions to listen appreciatively to each other and to stop allowing petty divisions to destroy ourselves, our families, and our American society.
© Copyright 2020 – M. Dave Salisbury
The author holds no claims for the art used herein, the pictures were obtained in the public domain, and the intellectual property belongs to those who created the pictures.
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In several previous professional positions, especially those in call centers, there has been considerable time spent training people to actively listen. The problem; active listening can be faked, and fake active listening is as useful as a shower without soap or shampoo. You might get wet, but you do not feel clean.
Consider the press conferences at the White House. A room is full of people who would claim they are professional listeners, who then report what is being said. Yet, how many times do you see questions asked with an agenda, personal opinions warping what is said into what they desired to hear, and then reporting what they erroneously heard to satisfy their desires politically; every single time. Hence, the problems with active listening and how active listening can be faked. Desire and attitude of service are not being applied to improve customer service focus.
Not listening is probably the largest social problem in the world today. Everywhere fake active listening is observed, along with copious amounts of observable inactive, selective, and active refusals to listen. Some of the problems in improving listening are policies and procedures that do not allow for individual adaptation or situational understanding. However, too often, the individual choices to grab power, exercise authority, and pass along inconvenience are the real problems in not listening. Harvey Mackay is reported to have said, “Easy listening is a style of music, not an attribute of communication.” Proving again that listening is a choice, a personal choice, borne from desire, bred on attitude and reflected in verbal and non-verbal patterns of communication.
DNC-Consulting 