Random Thoughts

Standing here typing, listening to Garth Brooks, my mind will not relax to sleep.  Reason unknown, but these thoughts seemed to need to be written, so here goes nothing:

  1. Can a person have too much experience and too varied a resume? I’ve been a Jack-of-all-Trades for so long, but is that damaging my professional brand?

With a tour active-duty Army, a stint in the US Army National Guard, and a tour of duty active in the Navy, my SMART transcripts are thick with experience.  Add in the correspondence courses, the moving from state-to-state in the guard, I have collected job specialties/Military Occupational Skills (MOS), and civilian experience to the Nth degree.

In Fourth Grade, I heard about Cracker Jacks, how they were specialists in being Johnny on the spot to fill the needs demanded.  I have turned this into project, program, and change management, and supported it with formal and informal education.  What is too much?  How do I know when I reach that point?The important thing is not to stop questioning. ~Albert Einstein #motivation #questioning # ...

  1. Garth Brooks sings a song called “Ireland.” The song is more of a saga than a song, and it tells the story of an Irish Army, on the short end of long odds and outmanned.  Since I first heard this song, it has struck those chords in my soul, reason unknown.  Having been on the receiving end of long odds and understaffed, I understand the sentiment of this song on an almost spiritual level.

I’ve been in professional situations where I was the victim of lies, physical violence, and sexual assaults from both men and women.  People who desire to make themselves feel better by making another person worse.  I’ve been fighting bullies my whole life; bring it on.  You cannot put the “Skeer” on me!  Funnily enough, I sure have the Skeer on a LOT of others, mostly without ever trying.

Recently an event from the US Navy came forcibly to mind, one of the few times I put the Skeer on another person, then kept that Skeer up to the day I left the ship.  I had a member of my chain of command physically assault me.  I stepped toe-to-toe, looked him straight in the eye, and swore to the depths of my eternal soul that if he ever thought of touching me again, I was going to stuff his lifeless body into a saltwater compensated fuel cell, and all they would find of his remains would be atomic molecules as they went through the engines and into the atmosphere.  He never looked me in the eye again, touched me, and left the space crying.  I never touched him, but I got my point across.

I have carried the injuries from that day to this, and the VA refuses to acknowledge these injuries or their severity.  The VBA continues to deny that a male can experience military sexual trauma from another male.  But I put the Skeer on the perpetrators, and this comes with no satisfaction.  The law refused to support me; UCMJ failed even to acknowledge these issues while punishing me for the smallest of infractions.  Where is justice?

I was one of a tiny minority who was sent to Captain’s Mast (UCMJ, Article 15) proceedings, whose NCOER score went up after being sent before the mast.  My lowest NCOER score was 3.5/4 during my entire enlisted period US Navy.  But I could not get promoted, refused transfers, and was denied everything because I was “Too valuable to the command,” but this did not stop the command from sending me before the mast every six to eight months.  I have scars from the bullies, but they never broke me!Invictus by William Ernest Henley - Parchment Style Digital Art by Alexander Ivanov

  1. Since June 2022, I have been pleading on my blog, LinkedIn, and Facebook for participants for my dissertation research. Unfortunately, the research participation rate hasn’t exceeded zero—more reasons unknown.

Have you ever sat through company training and a trainer made an impression, for good or ill, on your growth with that organization?  Do you train others, hoping you are influencing the students in your classroom?  Do your official duties include leading training efforts for your company?  Please click on the link to enter the survey/questionnaire:

Have you successfully been coached or been the coach to another?  What about mentoring?  Have you received mentoring or been a mentor?  Your insights are vital to my research, and I want to showcase your insights to other researchers to help improve company training programs.  Please, join, and let’s change the world.invictus logo 10 free Cliparts | Download images on Clipground 2021

  1. On the topic of the VBA, did you know you can have a VA provider diagnose you with PTSD and be denied VBA benefits? I would never have believed this was possible until it happened to me.  The civilian provider doing the PTSD exam claimed a person could not experience PTSD unless they were in combat.  If anyone knows how to successfully change the VBA’s mind, don’t hesitate to contact me.  I need some help on this claim!

The inconsistencies in my claim baffle and bewilder me to no end.  The abuse by the VA’s ineptitude and deleterious attitude leaves me thinking about running for office, if for no other reason than to stop the depredations of the VA.  Any lawyers out there looking for a fight, itching to correct a wrong, and want to join?

  1. I am almost finished with an advanced degree in industrial and organizational psychology (I/O Psych), and I am appalled by many of my colleagues. Not those in I/O Psych, but those in other psychological fields, psychiatry, and the medical field.  I am not denying that kids (age 9-18) are often confused about their bodies and have fanciful ideation about being a different gender.  Sometimes these thoughts and feelings need professional support to understand and cope.  But recommending surgery to mutilate their bodies permanently is morally, ethically, and borderline legally wrong!

In following the gender dysphoria topic, I have read the heartbreaking stories of those who transitioned, mutilated, and then eventually came to themselves and wept for that which has been lost.  Related on these blog pages are several stories of people I have known, who have experienced rape, beatings, and tremendous pain due to gender confusion, jealousy, greed, and a compliant medical industry hellbent on doing harm.  Why?

I repeat my question, only for emphasis, if your actions are so life-affirming and positive for you, why are you so hate-filled, angry, and abusive to others?  If the mutilation of healthy tissue is not immoral, unethical, and borderline legal, why the secrecy, silence, and walls of hate when approached on this topic?  These are honest questions.  The research does not support any conclusions; expect to plead for more research.  Science is not settled on any issue, let alone the alteration of young bodies and minds.

Writing these questions and thoughts down is therapeutic.  If they help you, I have accomplished my purpose.  I close with a thought:

“Ask yourself the hard questions, never stop asking, and allow your answers to change as you do.”  Colin Wright

I affirm in the strongest words I am not a victim, I am not the same person I was at 18, and I glory in the ability to continue to change.  Ask questions, learn, and change.

© Copyright 2022 – M. Dave Salisbury
The author holds no claims for the art used herein, the pictures were obtained in the public domain, and the intellectual property belongs to those who created the images.  Quoted materials remain the property of the original author.

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That Little Dash There In-Between

Bobblehead DollGarth Brooks sings a song called “Pushing up Daisies,” and a lyric is the title of today’s article.  On a headstone, there are two dates; we all know what those dates mean, but it is the dash I am focused upon today, and it is the dash that always captures my attention when I visit a cemetery.  Sure, knowing the birth and death dates are interesting, but I always want to talk to the headstone owner about the dash!

One of my biggest regrets is not knowing my grandparents as an adult.  My maternal grandfather fought in WWII, serving on a battlewagon in the Pacific Fleet.  He was a journal writer and chronicled his journeys.  I do not have access to his writings, and this hurts!  My maternal grandfather was hard-working; he left a legacy of small business ownership, franchise development, and self-sufficiency.  He could polish any metal until it was baby smooth and brilliant!

My maternal grandmother is why I respect strong women in story and encourage women to be the main characters in their lives.  A fighter with a Victorian heart of gold, my maternal grandmother was priceless and is well missed!  Plus, she had the best recipes for bread and cookies, pies, and cakes.  Of all the things I wish I had been able to copy and glean, her recipes for oatmeal butterscotch cookies and spiced canned pears top the list!Individual Headstone Designs | Pacific Coast Memorials

My paternal grandfather was a journeyman electrician; he was a wizard with tools and his hands.  He collected rocks, built a home for his wife and family that still stands and holds family.  He had a forge, a woodworking shop, and a couple of guns passed down to my father that won’t pass down any further.  Beyond a suspicion that he served in WWI, not much is known about my paternal grandfather beyond these few scraps.

Memorial Day WallpapersMy paternal grandmother raised two kids after her husband suffered a stroke; she was a nurse and served in this capacity long after she should have retired because she loved her patients and her family.  She had strength and a down-home kindness that I will never forget.  My paternal grandmother is the only reason I walked at High School graduation; I wanted her to enjoy seeing the graduation of one of the grand-kids.

I have uncles and aunts I respect and admire.  I have a couple of uncles I wish I could wallop with a stick and provide some corrective behavior to as well.  I have family scattered across the United States, Canada, Mexico, and the US Military as far as they can spread.  But I know as little about them as they know about me, and that dash in-between is essentially a mystery.  Oh, how cool it would be to sit down and tell our “dash” stories.Tombstone, Arizona

My mother-in-law was an incredible fighter!  A bare-knuckle, two-fisted, swinging for the moon kind of gal from the day she was born to the day she died.  I felt privileged to get to know her and some of her story, and let me tell you; her “little dash” was full of living, adventure, danger, intrigue, and daring!  That woman had steel in her spine, brass in her veins, and took no bull from anyone.  What a lady!

My wife’s uncle fought in every battle across the Pacific as a Navy Seabee.  He arrived at Pearl Harbor on 08 December 1941 and walked across every island battle to the last bombs dropping on Japan.  He built runways, roads, houses, harbor facilities and faced every single engagement.  I know practically nothing about the “little dash there in-between” for him.  I know his wife was a sweetheart, but I know even less about her story and their collective story.  Sad days when they departed this mortal coil, for I wished like mad, I could have learned more about their dash!

Yet, for all I know about these people, I know very little about that dash.  I know more about President Abraham Lincoln and his dash in-between than I do about my grandparents, and this is frustrating.  Worse, I know more about Garth Brooks, a stranger, than I do about my own parent’s dash in-between, and this is not frustrating, given the makeup of my family.  Consider with me people you respect; what do you know of their “little dash there in-between.”Photos of the Korean War Veterans Memorial

My wife is a Victorian lady of the highest caliber.  Today is her birthday.  She has an incredible dash in-between, and I have had the privilege of walking beside her for the better part of 30+ years.  Yet, I would be a fool to claim I know her entire “dash in-between.”  I could not even claim to know a tenth of the 30+ years we have been together.  Do you know what is maddening?  She thinks her writing, journals, and so forth are not very interesting, and nobody will want to read them.  This observation has led me to learn a couple of pieces of wisdom that I pass along for your consideration.

      1. Always be willing to learn – Whether it is learning more about people, places, things, countries, topics, languages, etc., does not matter—the journey of learning matters. Engage and travel!
      2. When you want to really get to know a person, go to work on a task with them – I sweated alongside some Amish in Ohio on a roofing project at the State Fair Grounds. First, I froze alongside them through January and February, and then we sweat through March, April, May, and June.  It never ceases to amaze me what I could learn while we worked.
      3. Know your own dash in-between – Journal, blog, do something to record your dash in-between. Review your own story often.  You might surprise yourself at what you have accomplished.
      4. Be the influence that is felt – There is a line in Garth Brooks’ song, “My mother died, but somehow she keeps living, she’ll never cease to amaze me.” I have met people who are still influencing me long after we have lost touch.  Be that person, be the influence felt across miles, years, and choose to be the positive force for good.  However, that means to you!
      5. Leave a heritage in that dash in-between – Not just papers, bills, a will, a journal or two, but a heritage. What are you known for?  What characteristic will someone say you embody and live to the absolute fullest?  What single attribute will you pass on to your progeny, friends, and colleagues when the dates are carved in your stone?

Exclamation MarkBefore your stone is carved, your remains are laid to rest, and your final resting place is occupied; make sure to fill that little dash in-between to the brim and to overflow.  Make sure you record your dash.  Pass along your dash; your future will appreciate your efforts!

© 2021 M. Dave Salisbury
All Rights Reserved
The images used herein were obtained in the public domain; this author holds no copyright to the images displayed.