This is not my first rodeo where family members have chosen alternative lifestyles. One family member was not hostile, quietly adopted a different lifestyle, and lives without bullying anyone. One family member has just come of age, has chosen to live as a different gender, is passive-aggressive, and is hostile to everyone who refuses to participate in their mental disease. The first person is an abnormality in the homosexual community where bullying, bullishness, and boorishness are the standard, not the exception. The second family member has used their unhinged emotional wrecking ball to injure family and friends for the privilege of getting their way. A wholly childish and selfish spectacle deserving of nothing more than abject derision and scorn.
Several friends have embraced different genders and lifestyles, moving from friendly to bully in a relatively short time, and have remained boorish and behaviorally reprehensible ever since. One colleague was at a party, slipped a mickey, and woke up having been raped while drugged. In any other community, this would have been a legal offense; in the homosexual community, this was not even worth mentioning. A sad commentary in and of itself! Unfortunately, this incident has left my friend degraded and feeling worthless, and unfortunately, we have lost touch over the years and miles since this incident.
Many questions remain after having worked around the LGBTQ+ community for more years than I would care to admit. The number one question remaining is the following: If what you are doing is making you happy and more whole as a person, why the anger, resentment, bitterness, bullying, and boorish behaviors? To me, this is a simple question; to my friends and family in the LGBTQ+ community, this is a complicated, complex, and nuanced question, where the person asked becomes more boorish, bullish, and obstinate. So, please answer this question and tell me why this is such a complex and convoluted question.
Dear reader, I now pose the question to you. I do not care how you choose to identify, the gender you prefer, your sexual preferences, or your religious lifestyle. I do not care about race at birth or the race you choose to live. Frankly, all I care about is what you bring to the table regarding talents, skills, abilities, and the attitude you choose. Essentially, I have onboarded Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream; I judge solely by your character. I am not racist, homophobic, sexist, ageist, or any other slur you wish to dream of; respect is often offered to resounding silence or aggressive vocal opposition and hatred, yet respect remains.
Religionists, including traditional and non-traditional, I realize the issues you are facing, and I agree with a lot of your concerns. This does not mean you can be as boorish, bullish, and obstinate in your comments. My agreement with your concerns does not reduce my respect for both parties. Anyone abusing the comment section will have their comments moderated. With that said, any person choosing to abuse the comments section will face the same moderation. I do not tolerate emotionally charged bloviations. Be logical, be respectful, and explain your ideas clearly.
Bear with me for a moment. I speak for myself. I do not speak for all homo sapiens; I do not speak for anyone else but me — I research law, science, history, anthropology, psychology, and much more to form my opinions. Agree or disagree, your choice. Feel free to express your opinion, just understand I might disagree with your opinion, but I love to discuss topics with people. Do not bring emotional hyperbole and try to pass it off as fact! As I have told my wife, I do not care how you feel.
Currently, confusion has set in in global history, and I feel it is time to be truthful and specific. Women have two XX chromosomes, men have an X and a Y chromosome, and this is the entire amount of genders and sexes in mammalian human science. While some abnormalities and diseases will produce various (rare) chromosomal variations outside these two genders and sexes, there are absolutely no more than two sexes and two genders. Recently I was told I was wrong and was informed there are 83 different gender categories, not including those who consider themselves part animal. I continue to disagree pointedly!
One of the misnomers in the gender/transgender discussion is that of human choice, which is more easily understood as agency. The human, as an agent, chooses (exercising agency), and they have the right to choose, but in choosing, their consequences are not anyone else’s problem. We need this point well understood. Sexually transmitted diseases are not society’s problem; pregnancy is still not society’s problem; rape, drug addiction, depression, anxiety, etc., are not society’s problem. How you choose to live your life is your choice; like I have said multiple times in these articles and elsewhere, keep those lifestyle choices in your bedroom and home, and leave the rest of society to live as they choose.
Some of those consequences break a person’s social trust with their chosen society; we call these laws, and breaking laws has additional consequences the agent must bear for exercising agency. Breaking laws is black and white; how society’s agents apply those laws for enforcing those laws (judges, law enforcement officers, lawyers, etc.) is another topic; however, your lifestyle choices do not allow you to break society’s laws with impunity merely because you do not like a law or because that law interferes with your lifestyle. It is against the law to picket, rally, or riot in front of a judge’s home to sway that judge’s opinion! Blocking traffic is not an acceptable or legal method to air your grievances, and there is no such thing as a peaceful protest. You can either legally protest or riot, media talking heads notwithstanding!
Your lifestyle choices do NOT permit you to groom children, become boorish, bullish, or abrasive in public, nor do your lifestyle choices enable you to change laws and social norms to fit your pleasure. Everyone sacrifices to belong to society; not getting your way does not mean you have fewer rights than anyone else. Are we clear on this issue?
Equal treatment under the law means you do not get a pass on sexual predation merely because your lifestyle is different from someone else’s. Morals and values a society selects do not twist, morph, or get simply deleted because your lifestyle choices are out of sync with the rest of society. Frankly, there is nothing new in your lifestyle preferences, so start being a member of society, act responsibly, and cease your incessant whining. Finally, keep your lifestyle choices in your home; you are not allowed to teach children your lifestyle, you are not allowed to take over city streets for parades and displays, and whether you are hetero or homosexual when in public, act respectfully of others.
Let me elaborate on that final statement. I have been married for 25+ years; in public, I choose not to kiss, hold hands, or do any other action that could cause an observer to be discomfited. I make these choices from the moral obligation I owe to our country’s social fabric and the respect I have for my partner. I expect other couples to adhere to a similar standard of public behavior. Nothing is so disgusting than to be forced to watch two immature people abuse the public square by disrespecting themselves and each other through inappropriate actions in public. Are we clear, or do you want more specifications?
Having said all of this, why have you decided now is a good time to multiply sexes and genders? Why now are you demanding “rights” when you already have equal protection under the law? Why all of a sudden is the push on to change society in a warped image of your lifestyle? Please answer these questions, and let’s have a discussion.
It is time for honest and forthright discussions on these topics. Argumentative wrangling is not allowed. Insulting, calling names, and political (emotional) drivel will only end the conversation, for I refuse to put up with sniveling and whining. You seem to have a point; what is your point? You want respect, fine, you have respect; please remember respect is earned and is a two-way street. I will not participate in your mental illness, but I am always willing to discuss real issues honestly, openly, and transparently.
© Copyright 2022 – M. Dave Salisbury
The author holds no claims for the art used herein, the pictures were obtained in the public domain, and the intellectual property belongs to those who created the images. Quoted materials remain the property of the original author.
After discussing 
When emotional intelligence was first coming out, feel free to read the early papers and books on this topic if you doubt what I am reporting. Emotional intelligence was declared as the ability to read the emotions in a room and then control the people through their emotions. For which I have adamantly opposed emotional intelligence as a concept since inception. I have always felt that trying to control others through their emotions is wrong, in poor taste, and can easily backfire when those being controlled wake up and realize what has been happening to them. Yet, emotional intelligence has grown as a concept, has broadened in scope, and no one is asking why anymore. Well, I am, and so are a few others, but the media is working hard to keep us silenced and sidelined as “aluminum hat-wearing non-conformists.”
Well, I would see you escape the hook, wake up mentally, and arise as a powerful individual. Capable of independent thought and able to reason and think using your own instinct, talents, skills, and innate reasoning. I am not making a plea to your emotions, and if you ever think I am playing to your emotions, feel free to call me out! I am not here to enslave your mind, but to free your soul and empower your spirit, to support your goodness, and justify you being the free-thinking person you already are!
Those terrorists rioting over the spring and summer of 2020 were pawns and self-destructive actors to the contentious voices. We are all living in a time where social influencers play the most extensive role in the lives of people than ever before, and they can play this role because we have unbridled our emotions and refuse to believe that emotions are a choice, a judgment, and a tool for social integration. While the masses are not taught these things, those controlling the contentious voices know these truths, but they also practice hiding this information to destroy the groups they enslave. Please, free yourself from bondage, take control of your emotions, and never allow anyone to control them ever again!
Let me be clear, upfront, and personal; I am not here to tell you what to think, how to think when to think, or where to think. I will not force my opinions and ideas upon you as the global corporate media does. I will offer ideas and suggestions and how you proceed is your affair. Your choices will determine your destiny. I aim to aid you in understanding and viewing the world a little differently to improve your destination.
For example, Speaker Pelosi tore up President Trump’s State of the Union speech record on live, national TV as a knee-jerk response to the sitting US President. Of all the US President’s Speaker Pelosi has experienced, her behavior to President Trump was the most toddler-like, and people quickly excused this behavior as “Trump-Derangement Syndrome (TDS).” Thus, we can drop the “knee” in knee-jerk responses and describe the activity aptly as being a jerk. No thought, not intentional activity (even though the action has intention, the brain does not register cognitive effort), and the reaction to the stimulus is mono-synaptic.
Macro-aggression is the complete opposite and are “obvious, intentional, above-board insults, where there is no chance of a mistake on the part of the transgressor to be provoking, insulting, or otherwise discourteous.” But, again, the definition does not include the fact that the person claiming another person’s activities are macro-aggressive is a personal choice, a judgment, and a socially powered decision.
Micro- and macro-aggression are often claimed to be “triggered” by specific words, colors, foods, waters, fruits, and a host of other items. Essentially using fear and envy to demand people act differently or the consequences are toddler-like fits and fussing, picketing, rioting, looting, e.g., acting like a terrorist. Thus, micro- and macro- aggression is nothing but the toddler throwing a temper tantrum because they are not getting what they want at that moment. While claiming their aggression is on behalf of someone else, and their acts of terrorism are excusable because the aggression was triggered by someone or something else. This is like the eight-year-old older brother or sister throwing a fit that the toddler was punished and claiming they are behaving irrationally in support of the toddler’s tantrum. How many parents will buy this logic; I do not!
Love them or hate them, comedians have changed since I was a kid sneaking peaks of comic relief on cable while washing dishes late into the night. Comedians now carefully pick their materials based upon their perceptions of the audience. Thus, we have classes of comedians, including “Shock Comedians,” who try to be as offensive as possible and still get laughs. We have political comedians; some come down equally on both sides of the political aisle, others are as cemented to a political agenda as they can be and use their “comedy” as a tool to influence their audiences towards that political agenda. We have a host of comedians dedicated to helping people laugh and others who see themselves as able to influence, regardless of consequences.
As a kid, the USSR loomed as an ever-present force that could at anytime wipe America off the map with a pre-emptive nuclear strike. Of course, America would retaliate with nuclear weapons, and this would create MAD or “mutually assured destruction.” People understood MAD was bad, but the communists among us were more insidious about portraying communism. The news media showed bread lines, soap lines, and the bitter pictures of enslavement under communism. Thus, socialism was the way to go, and the communists were selling socialism as the better way to government.
Envy has been one of the seven deadliest sins for a reason; it breeds violence and discontent. Webster shines a light on envy describing it this way, “A feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by and in conjunction with desire for the possessions or qualities of another.” Fear is disgust and envy paired for the weak to overcome the powerful. The disease of envy includes admiration, jealousy, discontent, disbelief, lies, and a host of emotions that overwhelm a person’s mind to the point where they become irrational and hostile. Another resource claims envy (from Latin invidia) is an emotion that occurs when a person lacks another’s superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desire it or wishes that the other lacked it. Aristotle defined envy as pain at the sight of another’s good fortune, stirred by “those who have what we ought to have.”
There is a reason why envy is a deadly sin in both the Old Testament and the New Testament, mentioned in all the ancient books as a problem, and continues to infect people who refuse to learn. Unbridled emotions are captivity, not freedom! There is danger in the extremes of everything. Envy is in the extremes and imitates a minimal issue to capture the mind and control the person. Consider this, capitalism is the best, and envious people implement socialism to chain capitalism while rooting for communism to come in a takeover, thinking they will be better off and the “rich will finally pay their fair share.” Reality is always disappointing for envious people, and the result will be that everyone detests them when their plans come to fruition.
In Proverbs, Old Testament, we find an oft-quoted aphorism, “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.” If we first accept this aphorism as truth, then the following from James Allen, from “As a Man Thinketh (1903)” can also be presumed truthful. “A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts. As the plants springs from, and could not be without, the seed, so every act of a man springs from the hidden seeds of thought, and could not have appeared without them.” Bringing into sharp reflection the connection between how a person thinks and their character.
I once met a professional soccer player; we shared a bus trip from Salt Lake City to Vernal, Utah, as he traveled to catch a plane in Denver, Colorado. While I do not envy him, his travel scheduler, we had a very interesting conversation on how thinking builds character. Professional sports players have similar mental walk-throughs as a regular part of their daily exercises. Here I had always been under the impression this was for non-professional sports players and was pleasantly surprised to hear his experiences.
The tools of education became the chains of bondage and weapons that left him without passion. His thoughts had turned his desires in his chosen field into a trap, where he thought his only way out was doing something radical and “out of character.” Except for those who knew him, his character was always bent towards being a soldier, but he had not thought thru this character aspect himself. His thoughts had already revealed his character, but he had not become cognizant of this aspect of himself. How many times has this happened to you?
How did I finally kick the cigarette habit, so the mental addiction could no longer tempt me to smoke; I change my thinking. Instead of allowing myself to find second-hand smoke delightful, I began seeing it as something to avoid. As I changed my thinking, my body stopped reacting in a manner to claim a need for the cigarettes. It was not easy, but I had physically quit smoking 10-years before my mental processes, and mental addictions were finally conquered. The power to correct my body’s behavior towards cigarettes was always mine to claim and apply, but first, I had to change how I think about cigarettes, then my mental needs changed, and then I was free of the mental addiction. Changing thoughts and time, experience, was required, and slowly my body obeyed.
The New Testament records, “He that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” To which James Allen has added, “… for only by patience, practice, and ceaseless importunity can a man enter the Door of the Temple of Knowledge.” I remember reading about a famous diamond mine in Africa, the largest diamond mine in the world, and how even with technology, the mining process continues to be one of patiently gathering, carefully digging, and unending repetition to haul diamonds from the dirt. In L. Ron Hubbard’s book, “Battlefield Earth,” one finds the same pattern in digging for gold. Patience, careful gathering, unending repetition, and still the results are teaspoons of gold for the tons of rock and dirt shifted.
Today’s title comes from Charles W. Penrose (n.d.), who penned the following poem, which has been set to music; the poem is based upon Proverbs 16:32, “One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and one whose temper is controlled than one who captures a city.”
As a kid, if my parents did not like another child’s behavior, I was refused the opportunity to play with that child for fear the child’s emotional behaviors would rub off on me, and I would begin to act like a nincompoop! Yet, as an adult, I can witness rampant emotionally charged conduct, and I have to tolerate nonsense due to helicopter parents, political choices, and the media; I think not! I firmly support 
Thus, on this Memorial Weekend, let us firmly recommit to 
Military commanders are taught there are two great sins in planning operations; one is waiting, and predictability and the other is indifference. Today, business leaders are instructed well by academics about the problems with waiting to make a decision, failing to act, and the costs of blown opportunities from taking too long to make a decision. But few have ever considered the costs of indifference. I intend to close this gap in education, using some recent examples and some history to reflect why indifference is a corrosive acid on the souls of men.
Let’s take Robert Solomon’s position that emotions are a choice, a judgment, and a social event. Indifference is not distinguishable from other emotions and remains a choice, a judgment, or a social event. Except one is not left trying to distinguish between indifference as emotion and indifference as lacking interest or caring. More to the point, if indifference was simply an emotion to choose, then indifference is apathy, and apathy is another emotion on the path to ruination.
Solomon makes a classic point in tying indifference to defensive mechanisms used in choosing emotional interactions for social situations. Indifference can reflect envy, resentment, hate, disdain, and the “opposite” of these emotions: love and respect—indifference embodying the individual’s psyche through emotional choices. When angry, frustrated, or time-pressured, how many times has the words “I don’t care” slipped out as the position when at another time the decision would not have been indifferent? Is the defensive aspect clear?
Public examples of indifference abound; one of the most obvious was the Beer Summit. President Obama’s indifference to police officers during the Henry Louis Gates arrest debacle in July 2009 reflected poorly in a socially political aspect for all his faults and all his other decisions. Thus the “
President Trump was criticized for caring too much about war zones and problems outside the United States, while the infrastructure crumbled and the poor suffered. President Obama was criticized for his refusals to enforce “Red Lines” being crossed with impunity and where internationally illegal weapons of mass destruction were employed. Which one was a reflection of indifference? Why? I am not getting into political discussions here; the topic is indifference, and recognizing indifference and the consequence from indifferent actions remains crucial to improving decision-making. Both presidents inherited situations where American Troops were in harm’s way, and these troop conditions rightly took priority in decision-making short and long-term. Yet, which president was indifferent? Why? Does indifference change solely because of political leanings? Why?
It never seems to change; the powers that think they run the world want everyone drinking the Kool-Aid of emotional entanglement. 
Apathy is all about a lack of enthused concern. Being apathetic is a choice to show no concern, emotional connection to an issue, or interest. The choice to be apathetic is personal and does not indicate that a person is heartless; simply that the person being apathetic is making different choices where emotion is concerned on a topic. Choosing a different emotional response to a situation is a good thing and reflects intelligence in understanding emotional pitfalls and emotional problems leading to problems and chaos.
Empathy, of all the emotional pitfalls, empathy is the most devious of this list’s emotional responses. Empathy is all about acting like you understand another person’s emotions, and you have a personal desire to share those emotions. Empathy is fake; empathy is a choice one exercises in the attempt to control a person or situation through emotion. Being empathetic is a skill set learned as a manner of defense or, for the more nefarious, to control others. Empathy is nothing more than faking concern. By encouraging empathy, a person with authority is looking to steal control over enough people to contain a group through that group’s emotional connections. By choosing to be empathetic, control over the cognizant emotional choices is given away to someone else for momentary social gains. Shift the social environment even slightly, and empathy becomes foolish. Still, people will continue to look for something to emote about, even after being caught feeling ridiculous about being empathetic for social gain.
The 800#-Gorilla in the news is COVID-19; the corporate media is using sympathy and empathy to garner support for the government to continue the lockdowns, the mask mandates, the economic decline, and to refuse and refute those governors in the U.S. who want to return to business as usual pre-COVID. Sympathy for the dead, empathy for the families left behind, sympathy for those in hospitals, empathy for those first responders struggling with COVID cases, and so much more. The logic is never equal to the emotional marionette strings, and heaven forbid someone approaches the media with facts. Want more proof that the media is only interested in the emotional gamesmanship of sympathy and empathy; look to historical records of Ebola in the US, Swine-flu, Avian-Flu, SARS, MERS, annual flu outbreaks, and other viral outbreaks. You will find headlines blaring a need to sympathize, empathize, and emote in a specified manner, or you are considered heartless, uncaring, and a host of -isms that make no sense, except to those demanding an emotional response.
I saw a headline in my newsfeed that had me laughing, “
My newsfeed has been clogged by some spoiled brats who fled a palace in the United Kingdom for fame and fortune in America and some stupid interview with Oprah. Beyond that, I have no clue what their pampered beef is and could care less. Yet, this entire week has been filled with demands from the crown for sympathy and empathy, cries for sympathy, and empathy for the runaway pampered couple in California. As well as cries for 
I promise as you review and reduce your emotional investments, you will experience a feeling of liberation like you have never known before. Stress levels drop, time becomes available for other activities, and a more conscious choice of emotional investing makes you a better person to be around. Stop giving away your emotional liberty to those who would control and destroy you, be they children, friends, employment, media, politics, etc.; you can be free of emotional chains.
A colleague and I were recently discussing how emotional intelligence has taken over as a phrase with power but lacking definition, clarity, organization, and foundational logic. Included below is my answer to my colleague and some thoughts on avoiding the constant maelstrom of business jargon passed around as useful tools for management.
Hence the conclusion that emotional intelligence is a misnomer and the process currently labeled as ‘emotional intelligence’ is nothing more than intelligence being confused with emotions (Antonakis, Ashkanasy, & Dasborough 2005; Locke, 2005). Antonakis, et al. (2009) and Locke (2005), both of whom supported the claim that emotional intelligence is a confusion of intelligence with emotions that creates chaos when applied together, supports the conclusion that emotional intelligence does not work as a concept. Thus, in employees’ identity transformation, using any emotional intelligence model remains wasted time and energy for the business leader already stretched thin on resources.
According to APA.org (2018), intelligence is nothing other than the functioning of the intellect an individual possesses. APA.org (2018) discusses how to compete more effectively through proper sleep, diet, education, etc., in intelligent functions; apparently, feeding the brain improves how the brain functions, thus increasing intelligence opportunities and competitive skills against others on an Intelligence Quotient (IQ) standardized test. Locke (2005) explored the intelligence side of the misnomer emotional intelligence, further supporting that an individual’s intelligence, even if focused just on emotional responses, cannot and should not measure the intelligence of the individuals involved in a situation. Finally, Joseph (2016) imported that understanding the leader-member exchange (LMX) and working to improve the LMX remains more important than being, whatever definition is currently accepted for, emotionally intelligent.
Emotional Intelligence will die as a concept when the researcher’s and practitioner’s social popularity begins to subside. What will not disappear is the continued use of plastic words to describe, detail, stretch, contort, and deceive people. Hence, the third suggestion to avoid calamity brought about by jargon unleashed is to recognize plastic words, and if in doubt, refer to the first suggestion, read a book!
DNC-Consulting 