Often writing about the Department of Veterans Affairs leaves my mind dark and argumentative. My solution is to write something more uplifting, taking a mental break from the drudgery of bureaucrats abusing people. Thus, this article was born from a desire to uplift, guide, and offer hope during a confusing, chaotic, and calamitous time.
In junior high school, I was first exposed to a proverb, saying, blessing, curse, or Chinese expression, “May you always live in interesting times.” I like this saying and consider it a gift. How boring would life be if we lived in uninteresting times? More to the point, consider all the opportunities found when living in interesting times. Opportunities to learn, grow, help, and more, all because we have personally learned to ride the whirlwind of interesting times. With utmost sincerity, I hope you also will always live in interesting times.
Ken Blanchard offers some guidance:
“Asking for others’ guidance helps you see what you may not be able to see. It’s always important to check your ego and ask for help.”
Two things about this quote stand out:
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- Ask – Asking for help, guidance, or support is one of the toughest things a person can do. Unfortunately, point number two is always getting in the way.
- Check your EGO! – How often have you asked for help, only to find the support provided clashed with how you thought, and time was wasted not listening, not doing, and not trusting the information provided?
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I do not know about you, but I need to check my ego, lock it in a box, and listen more reflectively a couple of thousand times a day. Apologizing to the person rendering guidance after wasting time not believing the advice the first time is even more difficult than not heeding the support the first time and having to ask a second, third, fourth, fifth, etc. time. Instead of exemplifying myself, learn from my scars, listen, check ego, and ask for guidance.
I offer the following as an appendage to guidance:
“Train your mind to see good in everything. Positivity is a choice. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.”
Our minds require training; this is a universal principle applicable to every mortal. Training happens through the choices we make and the consequences natural to each choice. Emotion is a choice, feelings are a choice, and thoughts can be controlled through training. Can someone make you mad? No! You choose to respond to external stimuli based on how you judge the social situation and your desires. Hence your inner peace and mental well-being are a choice.
In affirming the choices and emotions/feelings, let me succinctly express that what you eat, drink, think, listen to, watch, etc., all plays roles in how you train your mind. Choosing to see the good in other people will never happen if you surround yourself with negativity. Feeling depressed, anxious, or worse, start within yourself. What are you reading, watching, listening to, eating, drinking, etc., that worsens your depression, anxiety, or ability to enjoy good and feel good? In psychology, this is called “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT),” and the research is fascinating on the application and self-help through taking charge of your inputs to change the outputs and outlooks.
I am not trying to negate the need for professional help in extreme cases, and before making medication changes, please talk to your mental health provider. While there, discuss CBT, and do some research on this topic. The quality of our lives depends on our thoughts, and the quality of thoughts relies entirely upon the inputs into our brains. I struggle with depression, anxiety, and PTSD, but when I am more intentional about what goes into my brain, the less these issues can affect me. Often, I have to take my inputs on a minute-to-minute basis to maintain positivity. You can take charge of your brain and train it to output more positivity.
On my second trip through fourth grade, I was encouraged to learn the following and make a choice:
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
The author was unknown, but the school principal made the challenge after a visit for being a jerk. My principal explained that what I was exemplifying, being a jerk would mean that the world would be a jerk back. So, if I wanted to be treated differently, I had to be what I wanted returned. A tough lesson in fourth grade, even more difficult to remember as time passed, even though I accepted the challenge to change.
What do you want to see in the world? Unfortunately, a colloraly question demands attention: is what you want to see in the world positive or negative? For example, a person I met wanted to see more violence in the world and worked exceedingly hard to create more violence around themselves. Unfortunately, violence has a way of escaping control, and this person received more violence than they started. Call it Karma, Murphy, or something else; the universe seems to have an excellent boomerang device, and what is sent out many times is multiplied and delivered in such a manner as to inspire changing values when returned to you.
Hence, while guidance might be akin to a small tea light, everything might not become apparent immediately, but your next step is clearer than the darkness. Ask for guidance, check ego, and be the change you want through mental training, but first, believe you can do this!
Hope is an interesting power. Hollywood made this clear when a demon on Angel (a TV Show spun-off from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1 Episode 14) made the following comment:
“I had given up… Hope.”
The demon character spoke of the blackest pit, the harshest and most hellacious place they had ever entered. A mind devoid of light, humanity, and hope led the demon to give up hope and begin to fear, contemplating never being able to escape. While fiction, the point is clear, hope is a powerful tool, and with it, our minds can grasp, cling, and strive. Without it, there is a bottomless pit of black despair.
Hope is a relief to grief, music in a tuneless void, light on the darkest path, and a rescue rope flung to others. Yet, to express hope, society claims you’re a “cockeyed optimist,” all while society flails about without hope. Society will always scorn what they do not have; lacking hope, society will always try to negate hope in others while denying it to themselves. Why is training thoughts so essential; to shield your mind from the inputs of negativity. What is the shield you raise; hope!
Samuel Johnson, speaking about hope, said:
“Hope is itself a species of happiness, and perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords.”
Suzanne Collins expressed a similar thought stating:
“Hope is the only thing stronger than fear.”
But, many ask, what do we hope in? What do we hope for? Sure, Pliny the Elder is supposed to have said:
“Hope is the pillar that holds up the world. Hope is the dream of a waking man.”
Religionists will claim that what we hope in, and for, is deliverance from death. Others will claim we need to invest hope in a god, God, or gods. Yet, does this answer the question of what to hope for or where to place our hope? For some, maybe; for others, maybe not. I struggle with hope and would like to offer a couple of potential answers:
We begin with a firm understanding of what hope is. Hope is a desire coupled with an expectation the desire will be delivered. For example, in the dark of the night, we hope for sunrise. We expect sunrise to arrive eventually, and when it does arrive, we feel something as we witness a new day dawn — expectation coupled with desire, including a feeling upon delivery.
Some will contend, based on Plato, Socrates, or other philosophers and philosophies, that things hoped for are entirely outside the control of a person. Yes, the sunrise is outside a person’s control, but choosing to feel hope in something is entirely inside a person’s control. Remember the demon, who corrupts people for personal gain, felt hopeless and despaired due to external circumstances. You control the mind; thus, you are always in control of feeling hope – an expectation coupled with desire that includes a feeling upon delivery, often associated with feelings of uncertainty and defiance.
Defiance as an aspect of hope allows the prisoner to spit in the eye of the guards and accepts the consequences, which generally take the form of physical violence. Uncertainty will enable us to turn a light switch on to “see if the electrical power is back.” Expressions of hope come in many forms, but the central figure in expressing and feeling hope is our minds; we control, and thus we cling to hope.
Is hope optimism; no, and hope is also not faith. Distinct differences make hope individual, and we must grasp these differences to understand the power and grandeur of hope. The major difference between hope and optimism is centralized around significance that reflects a claim about ourselves. Pessimists possess hope because something is significant and valuable to them that they can hope for. Faith is a firm belief in things not seen but for which hope is invested and the faithful person will work to bring about. Thus, optimism and faith possess elements of hope but remain distinct and individual. The faith-filled person will find faith challenging to work towards lacking hope, and the optimist will find hope without significance difficult to possess. Hence we can deduce that hope is a type of power, and through hope, faith and optimism receive additional capacity in a person’s life.
Imagine Sisyphus for a moment; each day begins, and the rock he is to roll is at the bottom of a hill. Each day ends, the rock is at the top of the hill. The rock moves up the hill daily through his sweat and labor. Why does Sisyphus move the rock? He hopes to keep the rock on top of the hill. He recognizes that the task is arduous, but he possesses hope, and through hope, he moves the rock. The power of hope is an impetus to motivation, lifting any person to work and, through work’s drudgery, to hope for a future different from today.
Hope first lifts thoughts if we choose to allow it, and the person becomes empowered to do something from lifted thoughts. Do we catch the hinge; choice. The human is the one mammal on the earth that possesses the ability to hope, projecting hope into a future changed from the present. The lack of hope is despair, filling the individual with fear, but these are both choices. We choose, and in choosing, natural consequences follow. How we value those consequences determines whether we value or disregard the choice/consequence cycle previously, which leads to new choices and perceptions, producing more consequences and choices.
We invest hope in the future, for a brighter tomorrow, and for improved situations, employment, friends, family, health, etc. Too often, what we hope for is locked in our choices, thoughts, and inputs into our brains in training to make tomorrow different from today. Some people will add religion, and I am not disregarding the power of personally held beliefs that form the basis for religious tenets. Religion helps to lengthen the event horizon, formalize faith and hope, and provides more to hope in and for. Hope is a power fundamental to the human condition, of which all religions, including atheism, agree.
Religionists generally will place hope in something, eternal life, the Savior, a cross, enlightenment, etc., which hope easily leads to faith, and the works needed to obtain the hoped-for desire. How you invest your hope reflects a choice, a passion, centralizes thoughts, and produces an appetite that moves you to action. Recognize the hinge, choices remain central to using hope, and the natural consequences provide opportunities to choose whether that which is hoped in and for to become a reality or to morph into something else more desirable. Truly, we can understand how thoughts become things and the power of thoughts.
May this find you well and help provide new ideas for building your future.
© Copyright 2022 – M. Dave Salisbury
The author holds no claims for the art used herein, the pictures were obtained in the public domain, and the intellectual property belongs to those who created the images. Quoted materials remain the property of the original author.
This is not my first rodeo where family members have chosen alternative lifestyles. One family member was not hostile, quietly adopted a different lifestyle, and lives without bullying anyone. One family member has just come of age, has chosen to live as a different gender, is passive-aggressive, and is hostile to everyone who refuses to participate in their mental disease. The first person is an abnormality in the homosexual community where bullying, bullishness, and boorishness are the standard, not the exception. The second family member has used their unhinged emotional wrecking ball to injure family and friends for the privilege of getting their way. A wholly childish and selfish spectacle deserving of nothing more than abject derision and scorn.
Bear with me for a moment. I speak for myself. I do not speak for all homo sapiens; I do not speak for anyone else but me — I research law, science, history, anthropology, psychology, and much more to form my opinions. Agree or disagree, your choice. Feel free to express your opinion, just understand I might disagree with your opinion, but I love to discuss topics with people. Do not bring emotional hyperbole and try to pass it off as fact! As I have told my wife, I do not care how you feel.
Consider the production environment and the variables generally fall into three categories, inbound, or products needed to make something for a customer; outbound, the product shipped to a customer; quality, the need to ensure the product is acceptable for the customer.
Sharona struggled with being a mother, her boss was driving her crazy, and her mental health issues stemmed from both her boss and her nursing responsibility. Sharona plays a problematic role; does she provide nursing care for Monk or provide living assistance as a counselor? Concluding that stress can be a mental health issue when taken to extremes. Natalie Teager struggled with loneliness and a desire to be her own person outside of her family. Both mental health challenges that many people struggle with silently. Other supporting characters had substance abuse issues stemming from mental health concerns and personal choices, thus Monk’s subtlety and genius.
Hetro- or Homo- sexual, I do not care. If you and your partner are over the age of consent, generally accepted as 18 years, you may do as you like. All I ask is that you keep your bedroom theatrics in the privacy of your own home.
We can find the same family organizations, the same risks, and the same problems with abuse throughout history. Nothing in the modern family is new or unique. Greece, Rome, Egypt, Babylon, Israel, all communities of ancient date report the same problems in family dynamics, mainly to the detriment of the society practicing any family relationship except nuclear families. I am not the morality police, I am not the thought police, and I am not going to tell you how to live your life and handle your consequences. Heck, I have enough trouble just keeping my consequences dealt with; you may do as you see fit.
Childhood depression is up, anxiety, 
To fully understand the sexualization of children, one must first cut through the hype. The Centers for Disease Control (
I have reports from 
Military commanders are taught there are two great sins in planning operations; one is waiting, and predictability and the other is indifference. Today, business leaders are instructed well by academics about the problems with waiting to make a decision, failing to act, and the costs of blown opportunities from taking too long to make a decision. But few have ever considered the costs of indifference. I intend to close this gap in education, using some recent examples and some history to reflect why indifference is a corrosive acid on the souls of men.
Let’s take Robert Solomon’s position that emotions are a choice, a judgment, and a social event. Indifference is not distinguishable from other emotions and remains a choice, a judgment, or a social event. Except one is not left trying to distinguish between indifference as emotion and indifference as lacking interest or caring. More to the point, if indifference was simply an emotion to choose, then indifference is apathy, and apathy is another emotion on the path to ruination.
Solomon makes a classic point in tying indifference to defensive mechanisms used in choosing emotional interactions for social situations. Indifference can reflect envy, resentment, hate, disdain, and the “opposite” of these emotions: love and respect—indifference embodying the individual’s psyche through emotional choices. When angry, frustrated, or time-pressured, how many times has the words “I don’t care” slipped out as the position when at another time the decision would not have been indifferent? Is the defensive aspect clear?
Public examples of indifference abound; one of the most obvious was the Beer Summit. President Obama’s indifference to police officers during the Henry Louis Gates arrest debacle in July 2009 reflected poorly in a socially political aspect for all his faults and all his other decisions. Thus the “
President Trump was criticized for caring too much about war zones and problems outside the United States, while the infrastructure crumbled and the poor suffered. President Obama was criticized for his refusals to enforce “Red Lines” being crossed with impunity and where internationally illegal weapons of mass destruction were employed. Which one was a reflection of indifference? Why? I am not getting into political discussions here; the topic is indifference, and recognizing indifference and the consequence from indifferent actions remains crucial to improving decision-making. Both presidents inherited situations where American Troops were in harm’s way, and these troop conditions rightly took priority in decision-making short and long-term. Yet, which president was indifferent? Why? Does indifference change solely because of political leanings? Why?
As a fourteen-year-old, I was wandering around an office supply store in Belfast, Maine, and came across a bookmark I thought had an interesting statement on it:
In the US Army, I noticed something powerful; when living in a Korean War-built Quonset hut, my fellow soldiers and I had moral problems, experienced depression, and struggled. But, when we moved into new barracks, many of these problems ceased almost immediately. Thus cementing a lesson, the environment plays a role in personal feelings and influences desires to change. In the US Navy, this was more poignantly learned. I slept in Crew Berthing Three, the rest of the engineering department slept in Crew Berthing Two, and I hated going in there. Between the smell, the lackadaisical attitude towards maintenance, and the general disorderliness of the compartment always left me feeling depressed. So, even though I slept in the same berthing as Deck Department, which included the Boatswains mates, the berthing spaces were neater, cleaner, and better all around. Environment matters and influences personal desire to change or not to change.
There are people who I have met who will never change. One comes readily to mind, I was homeless on the streets of Auburn, Washington, after leaving the US Army in S. Korea. I had a job but no place to stay. One night while wandering to keep warm, I met a homeless man who refused to change. He was homeless by choice, not because of any drinking or drug problem, not because he was not smart enough to get a job and improve his living conditions, but because he chose to be homeless. He said, “I am who I am, and I refuse to change just to please society.” A very intriguing thought occurred to me then and has repeated often, am I choosing to be homeless, or am I choosing to grow?
Case in point, an engineering shipmate of mine, was kicked out of Crew Berthing Two for smelly feet, which led to smelly shoes, which upset a lot of people in Crew 2. He was forced to come live in Crew Berthing Three. Why did he have stinky feet, a fungus was growing on his feet, and he had never been taught how to care for his feet. He could wash them 100 times a day, but because he did not know how to care properly for his feet, nothing would change, and his feet would stink. When my shipmate chose to change, we taught him about foot care, he went to medical and got some fungal cream, and he purchased new shoes and socks. Why were his feet not a problem in Crew Three; we had better, and took better care, of the ventilation system than Crew two.
How does a person change a system built by man; start with the environment, which in this situation are the processes, procedures, and methods of conducting work. A leader arrives and begins influencing people through how they perform their work. Then begins the fundamental operations of training to new standards, including ethical, moral, and logical processes and procedures written down. Then, that leader begins holding people, not written processes, accountable for their actions. Shortly every person will be faced with a choice, change or leave. Hence, cleaning and correction become a natural function of the environment, and change is made where many have claimed; change will never happen.
Let me be perfectly clear; I do not care what you look like, your handicaps, abilities, or disabilities, or frankly, anything other than how you do your job and live your life to not interfere with other people’s freedom. Hence, when the discussion inevitably turns to diversity, equality, and inclusion (DEI) in the workplace, I fully believe that you are the number one driver of equality and inclusion in the workplace and society. You choose to become offended if you feel not included at work. You decide to feel marginalized, and in choosing to feel marginalized, your choices and consequences are solely yours. Except, you demand your consequences be the problem of the business and community. That behavior is childish, selfish, and reveals your ignorance!
Assimilation
Diversity
Equality
Inclusion and Discrimination
Exclusion
Individual Identity
Group Identity
Subordinate Culture
Dominant Culture
Individual Choice
Consequences
Imperative to the improvement and liberation of thought and the power of people is the eradication of litigated moral behavior. We, the individuals who make up our communities and businesses, must recognize the 800# gorilla in the room, mandating inclusion, refusing assimilation, denying the need to sacrifice individual identity for group success; these must be enshrined into our cultures, again! Let us embrace these truths and design our “Liberty FIRST Cultures” around a single “Rule of Law,” where people are respected and freedom blossoms!
DNC-Consulting 